


Public Service Announcements of Justice

by SilverScyther



Series: PSA of Justice Universe [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily, Batman thinks he's a king, Everyone hates Aquaman for some reason, F/F, F/M, Humor, M/M, Messed up League, Nobody is heroic, Public Service Announcements - Freeform, Seriously they're nuts, Sociopathic characters, Superman is needy, Wonder Woman gets jealous very easily, Wonder Woman wants to be his Queen, not very serious, slight romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2019-10-11 21:09:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 27,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17454371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverScyther/pseuds/SilverScyther
Summary: To the outside world the Watchtower seems like a perfectly maintained, but imposing base for heroes. They don't see the wild reality of a League run by heroes with psychotic personalities, a major lack of social understanding, poorly restrained lust, dependency issues, and sadistic tendencies. League-wide PSAs are posted informing everyone of the issues that must be addressed.





	1. Public Service Announcements of Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are never as they appear from the outside looking in.

Having a group of superheroes with eclectic and conflicting personalities spending large amounts of time in a single place often led to issues, especially considering the members came from very different backgrounds and in some cases different planets. The founding members elected a small group of people to keep track of the league's personal and social issues. Every few days this council releases announcements to tell league members of the problems they created in an attempt to keep things under control.

 

**General Message:**   We will be opening a suggestion box where you can anonymously write any complaints or suggestions you have and they will be addressed. If you commit any acts that aren't suitable for the environment of the Watchtower they will be addressed. Hopefully this will help everyone think carefully about their actions.

**Batman** : Stop disappearing when you get tired of talking to someone, everyone is aware that you 'are the night' and can fade into the shadows, but it's still rude. Superman's attempts to build a friendship may be getting on your nerves, but you could at least take the time to shoot him down to his face and not just leave. It keeps his hopes up that eventually you'll say yes and every time you leave him alone everyone else has to deal with his bad mood.

**Superman:** Your attempts to start a 'bromance' with Batman have been failing dramatically and people are starting to worry he'll take his annoyance out on them, which we can confirm is very likely. Please keep your boy scout charm to yourself, he clearly isn't interested and your pouting afterwards isn't appreciated. Forcing the other league members to awkwardly comfort you is uncomfortable for everyone especially when you complain that Batman could do a better job patting your back.

**Martian Manhunter:** The league is happy you're interested in learning more about the species of your fellow members, but everyone requests you are careful about the questions you ask. Questions about the reproductive system are not appreciated, nor are the attempts to secretly follow members as they enter the shower. Watching their memories to learn more is also considered a breach of privacy.

**Wonder Woman:** Like Martian Manhunter your interest in the world of your fellow league members is appreciated, but once again some of your inquiries are less than appreciated. Be careful when you ask the definition about certain slang, it's one of the reasons Batman likes to disappear. Asking what a 'Thot' is and talking about how 'Ratchet' the league members are, isn't particularly endearing.

**Green Lantern:** Stop passing out fake rings because you want it to be a fashion trends, Flash got really excited when he thought he was getting a green lantern ring, needless to say he was very disappointed. Also don't paint them just because Batman requested it come in black.

**Aquaman:** Everyday is not 'bring your fish to work' day, stop dragging a fish tank with a dolphin in it to league meetings. Nobody enjoys it and even without understanding the language of sea creatures everyone can tell the dolphin isn't a fan either. Plus aren't Dolphin's mammals anyway?

**Flash** : You can't just make a 'cool table' in the cafeteria and impose the requirement that they must meet a speed minimum, be hot, or be Batman to sit at the table. Nobody is jealous because they don't care, but it's still annoying especially when you go around telling people about it and then pointing out they aren't allowed to sit with you. We're not sure if this has to do with you watching Mean Girls with Nightwing, but just sit with everyone else.

**HawkWoman:** You can't bully new league members into becoming your personal 'mace polisher' nor will we hire one. We'd honestly assume there was some euphemism in there if it was somebody else asking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I'm bringing this work over from fanfiction.net the updates will be relatively quick. 
> 
> The first few chapters are shorter than the rest, but they will all follow the same general format as above. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think and what you might want to see in the future.


	2. Public Service Announcements of Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of band practice and a villain visits.

**General Announcement:** Whoever is writing "Justice League 4 ever" in graffiti on the walls of the Watchtower, please stop. Your dedication to the team is admirable, your art skills are not.

 **Green Lantern:** Stop making constructs that look like animals and sending them running through the watchtower, the staff still gets nervous around powers. Having a green panther stalking through the halls is making them jumpy.

 **Flash:** We understand you eat more than most people, but don't bite food out of people's hands when they are trying to eat. They aren't offering it to you, Martian Manhunter does not want to share his Oreos. Many people are actually complaining that you've bitten them, we're hoping by accident.

 **Hawkwoman:** Yes, you have wonderful wings and yes everyone is positive they are soft, but you can't force people to feel them. The moaning that accompanies the petting also turns people off touching them. Green Lantern seems to enjoy it, but the rest of the league is asking that you keep your wings to yourself.

 **Wonder Woman:** Don't try to learn about human culture through trashy television. Yelling, "You're not the father," at someone who seems upset doesn't generally work in cheering them up especially when it's Hawkwoman who is indeed a woman. Again we have to ask that you stop trying to use slang you randomly find, you don't need to say #blessed with everything. It's pronounced 'hashtag blessed' not 'pound blessed', we have a member of the medical staff whose name is Blessed she has taken to hiding whenever she sees you.

 **Black Canary:** Stop inviting Huntress and Catwoman to practices for your girl group 'Birds of Prey', almost nobody wants them here. However members of the league would like to tell you that the harmonies are spot on.

 **Catwoman** : Nobody cares if Black Canary invites you to the watchtower, you still aren't allowed in. Hitting on Batman and making lewd comments is upsetting league members even if Batman enjoys it. Flash feels left out, Wonder Woman is getting ornery, and Superman is visibly upset in his case we aren't completely sure why.

 **Huntress:** Stop getting into arguments with Catwoman about Batman, the Watchtower isn't the right place for your catfights. We apologize for that pun, but you guys had it coming.

 **Batman:** Encouraging Catwoman when she hits on you is making team members uncomfortable and your new habit of walking away with a flourish of your cape in the middle of conversations isn't much better than disappearing. Although it is admittedly quite dramatic and has impressed a few league members, the majority are annoyed when you give up on caring about what they want to talk about.

 **Martian Manhunter:** We're sorry you don't like the music, but telekinetically breaking the speakers was probably a bit too much. Still it did force everyone to leave which was for the best. A small crowd was beginning to form expecting a performance and the group only has one song which probably isn't appropriate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will most likely be taking pieces from different types of media i.e. comics and different cartoons for the characters, I'm using the version of Huntress from Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Huntress, Catwoman, and Black Canary do sing together (I stumbled across a youtube video). She has a crush on Batman so I'm willing to assume she isn't related to the Dark Knight in that continuity and they aren't related here either.
> 
> Please let me know what you think and feel free to give a kudos if you enjoyed it.


	3. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things never really improve on the Watchtower

**General Message:** Monitor duty is completely necessary and anyone that attempts to get out of it will be forced to deal with Batman, who in response has only said, "Great I need a new victim."

 **Aquaman:** You should also be aware that although goldfish are roughly in the shape of fish they are merely crackers. There was no need to tackle the Flash who clearly had no idea of the discomfort he was causing you, for future reference oyster crackers are also just crackers. You probably should have figured this out when the "fish" melted in water, but we'll chalk it up to trauma.

 **Flash:** Slow down when you talk. The League understand that when you get excited you often speed up, but almost nobody is able to understand you and most of the team doesn't bother to try anymore. People don't ignore you because they don't respect you, they just don't realize what you're trying to say. This might be part of the reason why Aquaman didn't listen to your explanation about snack foods. Batman would like to make it clear that he is ignoring you on purpose because he ignores most people and that he can understand you perfectly.

 **Batman:** Please stop scaring people by convincing them you can read minds by staring at them, nodding to yourself, and saying lowly, "I see" or "That makes sense". People are terrified of you enough without you encouraging them to believe the rumors that form about secret powers. This includes pretending to see the future by setting up traps and telling people to watch out because you foresee danger in their future.

 **S** **uperman:** It's clear that Batman does not want to adopt a 'BatCat' and become a father with you. A 'SuperPuppy' is most likely out of the question as well, he already is a father and certainly doesn't want to share his children with you.

 **Hawkwoman and Wonder Woman** : Stop using dirty language that you found online for fun in random situations. Calling everything a '#shit show' isn't necessary and nobody else is laughing.

 **Martian Manhunter:** Be more aware of how close you are to other league members. You tend to stand or float too close to them and when they try to step back you walk with them keeping yourself within their personal space. Certain members are planning countermeasures that may be less than pleasant, for your sake take two steps back.

 **Green Arrow:** Stop making puns about your arrows, many team members are starting to plan ways to kill you and carve bad puns on your tomb.

 **Black Canary:** Please stop organizing the hit squads you want to send after Green Arrow who keeps making puns involving the arrows.

 **Captain Marvel:** It's completely fine that you don't quite understand Green Arrow's jokes, just ignore him. You don't need to ask Batman for help despite the fact that he oddly agreed to help you.

 **General Message:** Green Arrow was actually caught by one of Black Canary's hit squads and is currently in the Medical Center, it seems nobody has bothered to visit him so will let you know he's fine despite the best attempts of his attackers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think and look forward to more chapters coming tomorrow.


	4. Public Service Announcement of Justice 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Flash becomes a vibrator

**Watchtower Announcement:** The award for scariest superhero has gone to the reigning champion Batman, congratulations or sorry depending on your view. Batman really clinched it when he offered to teach a class on torture methods using only a paperclip, nobody attended. In related news Batman is offering a course, 'stapling for sadists' he looks forward to your participation.

**Aquaman** : Keeping a few fish as pets is completely fine the league has provided you a gigantic aquarium for yourself and any sea creatures you have, however leaving them throughout the Watchtower is not acceptable. Sinks, baths, drinks, and random bowls left lying around are not homes for your 'subjects'. Wonder woman has promised to start killing your fish if she find another while she is in her bathroom. Please keep track of the sea creatures taking up residence in the watchtower or they will die.

**Flash** : Stop vibrating through the floors and falling into places you don't belong. It doesn't matter if it's an accident, if you fall into Wonder woman's room again she will force you to eat Aquaman's fish, alive.

**Green Lantern:** Just because you can make phallic constructs to use as bludgeoning weapons doesn't mean you should. They don't exactly inspire fear, they just bring about more uncomfortable questions from certain league members and some villains.

**Batman:** Sneaking behind people and whispering in their ears is disturbing and when heroes are surprised they are prone to accidentally using their powers. This is a reference to Flash falling through floors. We know it's on purpose don't pretend that's just how you approach people.

**Martian Manhunter** : There is no need to stuff yourself full of food and 'borrow' chemicals from the lab to experience throwing up. It was a learning experience that nobody gained anything from, in related news the Flash is also rather upset that we're out of Oreos.

**Hawk Woman:** Stop dragging your mace along the floor menacingly, some heroes have super hearing and the noise is more than slightly annoying. Scaring people into giving you wing massages is in poor taste, although Green Lantern seems to need very little encouragement and we're choosing not to question what you two do together afterwards. However he does often come out of your room covered in feathers and grinning.

**Superman:** We are sorry you heard a child call you a dork, but you need to get over it. Letting children's opinions affect you so much kind of plays into their assessment of your 'dorkiness'. We're also sorry that someone keeps leaving pieces of paper in your room that say 'dork'. We'd blame Batman, but that might be too childish even for him, maybe that's what Flash has been doing when he falls into your room.

**Cyborg:** Everyone is very sorry that right after you arrived back from your long mission you were forced to witness Martian Manhunter's 'vomit experiment', we are even more sorry that you slipped on it. He will come to your room to issue an apology and bring a gift, we don't know what, hopefully not food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to comment and let me know what you think and check back on the story because I'll be updating often.


	5. Public Service Announcements of Justice 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where the fights break out.

**General Message:** Stop the fighting, seriously we've lost track of the injured and the watchtower is already damaged. We're just going to list damages by members and supposed reason behind it because nobody is going to be able to read this anytime soon so there's no point trying to correct behavior. It's incredible that nobody is actually dead yet, but of course that could change.

 **Batman:** Although you haven't directly gotten into any fights we're sure you caused most of this. Many of the heroes are too strung up to pay attention to the fact that you more or less organized this, as Wonder Woman would say 'Shit show'. Current Location: No idea, probably watching everything and laughing.

 **Flash:** Challenged to race by Batman down a crowded hallway filled with members many who were injured and some of the few who weren't injured until the Flash smashed into them. Batman took him away when it was apparent he could do no further damage, much to Batman's dismay. Current location: Med Bay brought in by Batman.

 **Hawk Woman:** Complimented on her wings and convinced to spread them in the middle of the mess hall by Batman, it led to spilled food on multiple heroes who demanded apologies, to which Hawk Woman replied, "I'm beautiful screw you." She then swung her mace getting more food on people, which led to a food fight coupled with powers. Current location:flying around somewhere throwing apples at anyone who isn't already unconscious.

 **Aqua Man:** Told by Batman some of the heroes were planning on going on a fish murdering rampage and that an all fish meal was being served in the mess hall. He proceeded to enter the already explosive halls and release what he refereed to as his aqua warriors with the battle cry, "Let loose the fish of war." On the plus it cleared some of the blood away, negatives many people had to be resuscitated after drowning and there are fish out of water everywhere. Current location: Hiding out in the hot tub.

 **Martian Manhunter:** Convinced by Batman to train by reading the minds of league members and then repeat them aloud to everyone in the vicinity. He chose to speak the worst thoughts specifically ones that were derogatory, offensive, or very secret. It sparked arguments between league members and especially with him. Current Location: Believed to be wandering around observing while invisible.

 **Superman:** Luckily didn't really get into any fights, he was conned into being Batman's bodyguard in case of danger. Batman disappeared almost immediately and Superman is searching for him blaming himself for losing him. He's uninjured because he's the Man of Steel we can't say the same for anyone who gets in his way. Location: Searching for Batman.

 **Green Lantern:** Showed up saw what was happening merely said, "Nope," and left. We applaud Green Lantern and thank everything that Batman couldn't get to him. Witnesses claim they heard a voice say, "Almost got him", but those witnesses are no longer available so the league may never know. Location: A better place.

 **Black Canary:** Many heroes are wandering around partially deaf thanks to the canary cries you've been releasing into public spaces. Nobody is actually sure what set you off, but we're just going to assume it was Batman because honestly who else would do this? Location: Locked in soundproof room screaming in silence.

 **Wonder Woman:** Thankfully she was off planet, but Batman has contacted her and 'accidentally' revealed what was happening and offhandedly mention he was being attacked by Green Arrow who had largely managed to avoid the conflict. Current Location: Danger Incoming!


	6. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when the league is finally in the public eye?

**General Message:** There is a major function coming up where the Justice League is going to have a fun day with some children for a benefit. It's going to be filmed and shown worldwide, it's for a 'protect our children' charity funded by the Wayne Corporation. Please be on your best behavior and all of the founders are expected to attend, anyone else is welcome to come provided you mind your manners.

 **Aquaman:** Your attempt to force children to adopt fish was not a hit. Kids don't want brown sea slugs or poisonous puffer fish and how exactly did you expect them to take care of squids? Next time bring something smaller and cuter if they ever let you come back after the debacle of you trying to teach babies how to swim with sharks.

 **Wonder Woman:** You can't make a girls only section and teach them about a society where men don't exist. We saw some arguments between boys and the girls you 'mentored' by telling them they can use deadly force whenever they deem it necessary.

 **Hawkwoman** : Just because you went through a period of molting doesn't mean you can make "feather pillows" and try to sell them to unsuspecting people who didn't quite get the message when you told them you "put a piece of yourself into each one." Any proceeds will immediately be going to the charity so at least some good will come from this.

 **Superman:** Things were going very well and we're glad that you tried to impart good morals on the children, but you don't need to be so hurt when a teenager jokes about you to his friend. Batman had to come over just to stop you from getting upset and possibly breaking something. We noticed he had a quick talk with the teen who looked very pale when Batman walked away.

 **Green Lantern** : Your puppet show was going well until you lost focus for just a moment and the puppet constructs went wild destroying the puppet stage and scaring the toddlers and babies watching.

 **Martian Manhunter:** Showing up in disguise so you don't have to interact with anyone doesn't count as true attendance, but it's still better than causing problems and considering your track record with human interaction we won't reprimand you too harshly.

 **Flash:** There aren't really any major complaints, you actually managed to keep from doing anything completely overboard and got along with the kids. Batman said it was because your intellect was on their level, but he grudgingly admitted you were reliable in this event. However we would like to point out that you got overexcited from the compliment and vibrated through a wall.

 **Batman:** Although you were a bit late, arriving only after Bruce Wayne had left, everyone was impressed with how well you did dealing with the kids, you were actually the hero that was most visited and rated highest. The adults in particular enjoyed the knife throwing show when you strapped Aquaman to the target board, mainly because he endangered their children. They were slightly disappointed that you didn't 'accidentally' injure him, but his fear was enough to sate their appetite for revenge. The soft smile you sent the children before leaving was tugging at the heartstrings of your fellow league members who for just a moment thought you were in a good mood. That quickly disappeared when you fixed your glare on them for almost ruining the day, we won't repeat the threats you gave most of them, they're too disturbing.

 **General Message:** The League's participation in worldwide children's day charity celebration was a barely a success. Thankfully Batman spoke the language of almost every ambassador, child, and parent there and was able to convince them the league's failures were just jokes and nobody was in any true danger. They accepted his excuse and said Batman, Flash, and Superman were welcome to come back next year as long as the rest of the league stayed as far away as possible. Still you'll need to save the world a few times before this totally blows over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment to let me know what you thought and I hope you enjoyed this.


	7. Public Service Announcements of Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman throws a little Shindig (It's not great)

**League wide message:** If you receive an invitation to a party being hosted by Batman in a secret bunker, it's not a prank. He's actually hosting a party, though nobody is quite sure why.

 **Nightwing:** Everyone is glad to see you again and we apologize for Hawkwoman trying to get 'close' to you, Batman is planning to have a long chat with her about it. However the self satisfied look you wore when she drunkenly tried to wrap her wings around you made it seem like you weren't too bothered, in fact it was very reminiscent of Batman. Also thanks for helping with Flash, when he gets drunk he can get a bit unstable.

 **Hawkwoman** : You have been walking on very thin ice, watch your back the Bat is coming for you and when you mess with his robins, current or former, he can be merciless. We're sure Green Lantern would have something to say about it as well if he wasn't on a mission.

 **Flash** : Alcohol is supposed to slow you down, not speed you up. Everyone did enjoy the high speed dancing, but your eventual vibration through the snack table sending chips everywhere wasn't nearly as well received. Luckily Nightwing took you home before you could get too out of control, you should thank him properly when you're sober and apologize to Batman for the damage.

 **Superman** : Apparently drinking makes you needy and sad because you spent most of the latter half of party complaining that Batman doesn't appreciate you or pay attention to you. Some heroes, Nightwing in particular might understand, but it really isn't party conversation.

 **Wonder woman:** Not drinking often isn't a good enough excuse to pin Batman to a wall and attempt to ravish him until you passed out. His smirk and lack of resistance doesn't make it much better. We aren't' sure if throwing you in a corner wrapped in a blanket was supposed to be nice or if he just wanted to get rid of you.

 **Martian Manhunter:** Apparently you and alcohol don't mix because you spent the party going invisible and crashing into people. You also managed to throw up all the alcohol directly on Cyborg who was just trying to enjoy himself. We suggest another gift basket, don't include wine, maybe try some cleaning products.

 **Cyborg** : Being invited with the intention to make you the sound system and being thrown up on when you tried to dance would make anyone angry, but don't follow through on your threats to sabotage the Watchtower, it'll probably just lead to you being hurt further.

 **Batman:** Everyone was happy about the party until they started realizing some disturbing problems. The "pinatas" you made were actually just unconscious people. Some members were more receptive than others to beating kidnapped villains, but you could have warned them. Also leaving piles of passed out league members in the various corners of the room wasn't very kind, even if you did separate them by gender and throw blankets over them. Plus we're fairly sure you spiked the drinks, normal alcohol shouldn't have gotten non-humans so drunk, but even Superman and Wonder woman were drunk out of their minds.

 **Aquaman:** You shouldn't be surprised that Batman didn't invite you to the party, he's still mad about the 'babies swimming with sharks' incident. Instead you got an envelope that sprayed you with batman brand fish-repellent. He originally threatened to gut you like a fish and feed you to your friends, so you should feel lucky. Deal with the loneliness of not going to the party and not being able to complain to your fish friends who are avoiding you.

 **Captain Marvel:** It's perfectly fine that you're upset about not being allowed to attend, because Batman claimed the party was too 'mature' for you, not that we really understand what he means, but trying to crash the party wasn't the best idea. Thankfully you were escorted out without trouble and Batman promised to give you a bat-brand consolation gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment to let me know what you think and leave a kudos so I know people are enjoying this. 
> 
> Just a note: In this story none of the characters except Batman know about Captain Marvel's identity.


	8. Public Service Announcements of Justice 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When rules are made (mostly by themselves) people hustle to obey, without enough questions.

**General Announcement:** We aren't sure who posted the flyers with new rules on them, but it's safe to say you can ignore most of them. They clearly weren't even made by the same person some are printed and other were clearly written in crayon.

 **Superman:** It is not a requirement that all superheroes have gadgets, you don't need a supermobile, you can literally fly around the world. Do you even have a license? Also Batman won't help you make your useless car his quote was, "The batmobile is my thing." Finding a go-kart and spray painting it really doesn't qualify, but if it makes you happy do what you want. Just don't bring it to battle unless you want to use it as a bludgeon or be laughed at for driving it.

 **Wonder Woman:** Making your outfit more revealing is nearly impossible unless you just want to wear a bathing suit. It will most likely distract the enemies, but it won't leave room for the confetti that you're convinced you need to bring to every battle so you can celebrate once you win. Unless you literally plan on pulling confetti out of your crotch you'll have to leave things as they are and let someone sew in a pocket or two.

 **Flash** : If you chose to follow the 'rule' that you need to communicate purely by sign language, you should probably learn sign language. Just doing dance moves and gesturing like a wild man isn't easy to understand, more than one person has been put off by what they assume you're saying.

 **Batman** : It is not time for everyone to have very invasive medical testing, in fact it's never time to do some of the things you brought up. Despite what you saw on the notice board, nobody has alien worms inside them, you don't need to check for them. You also can't put alien worms in people, we've banned you from the kitchens.

 **Green Lantern:** There is no need to give everyone new code names and you certainly don't have to give them such stupid ones. The 'Floppy Fish' isn't exactly a promising start to your naming career.

 **Floppy Fish:** We know you're King of the Ocean, but nobody is referring to you as 'Your Majesty' it's a bit late to ask that, Batman looked particularly upset at the idea of someone being called king. However, we will put an end to your current code name and reinstate you as Aquaman.

 **Martian Manhunter:** Nobody banned the color green stop painting yourself blue and throwing glares at Green Lantern and Green Arrow for breaking the rules by simply existing. People keep thinking the blue man group broke into the Watchtower after you had Batman dump a vat of blue paint, that he conveniently had on hand, over you. He chose not to comment when we asked if it would wash off.

 **Constantine** : Some heroes literally saw you pick up a piece of paper and write something on it, we're going to assume that's why you, and only you, are responsibility for patting down the heroes to make sure they aren't carrying anything dangerous. Batman and Wonder Woman both got annoyed for very different reasons. Batman couldn't care less about being patted down, but he didn't like you touching his belt; Wonder Woman on the other hand just hated you touching Batman in general.

 **Captain Marvel:** Following the rule that you can eat as much ice-cream as you want is one of the least harmful new rules so feel free, but don't complain to Batman if you feel sick.

 **General Announcement** : If you're all going to follow stupid rules then can you at least follow the same ones? At least then everyone will be insane in the same way and there will be some common ground. Flash we're commissioning you to remove the flyers, just nod if you agree because your 'yes dance' knocked out Hawk Woman last time you tried it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I generally planned to release chapters Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, but for whatever reason I wanted to post one today. 
> 
> Please leave a comment or kudos to let me know what you think.


	9. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman get's his own television channel and everyone wants a show.

Batman nobody is quite sure how you managed to secure a channel on television, but we are actually impressed at the results, though we hesitate to ask the means of how you achieved them. However the fact that you've been secretly filming people and recording conversations is more than slightly disturbing, we need to ask that you keep your, "research" private. There will of course be content reviews because everyone is aware of your idea of 'acceptable' and how that actually measures up against the general public, who we don't want to permanently scar.

**Proposed shows: Under consideration or accepted**

_World news_ : Newscasters-Batman and Wonder woman, Weatherman-Superman, Head Reporter-Flash (This could actually be interesting plus Flash and Superman will be able to arrive on scene anywhere around the world quickly enough to cover things)

_League music:_  Multiple members, host Black Canary: Accepted (We want to see who in the league has any musical talent or if this becomes a giant joke)

_Battle Ring:_  Undecided (Setting up a fighting ring for superheroes seems like a terribly bad idea, but it'd make for great television)

_The Watch_ : Rotating group of league members: Accepted (We're on the fence, but we'll see how it goes as long as you don't start fighting)

_Batman's Life Advice_ : Hesitantly accepted on probationary terms (Everyone wants to know what kind of advice you might give, but we're also afraid, very afraid)

_League Fashion Law Enforcement_ : Accepted purely out of curiosity (We're assuming it's commentary on outfits in the Superhero and Supervillian communities)

_Jail Time Blues_ **:** Under consideration (Interviewing captured criminals could be a deterrent to crime when they see what it leads to, but the stories they tell might be an attempt to paint them in a good light and mud-sling at league members. If chosen some heavy editing will likely be in effect)

_Super Sitcom_  (Rename it and come up with a plot beyond cheesy superhero jokes and it'll be reconsidered)

_Magical Mondays:_ Magician- Zatanna assistant- Dr. Fate (Please nothing violent, last time you did a magic show you gave people nightmares)

_Holy Trinity Sketch_ \- Main actors- Wonder woman, Superman, and Batman Supporting roles: various league members. (We know you three think of yourself as the top three, but don't be too egotistical.)

* * *

**Denied shows for various reasons** :

_Batman Nose Breaking for Dummies_  (The general public does not need to be introduced to your special brand of violence)

_Fun with Fish_  (We get it Aquaman, you like fish but this isn't a nature channel and nobody else is interested)

_Martian Manhuner Cooking show_  (Get over your fear of fire and maybe we'll think about it. You turned on all four burners then left them on while you fled the scene. We had to call in our on site firefighter Aquaman to deal with the blaze.)

_Girl talk:_ Wonder Woman and Hawkwoman (You can't relate to the general public with your lack of tact or understanding of normal culture)

_Keeping Up with the League_  (Please tell us this was a joke, beyond the fact that it's stupid we can't really have a reality show where the League's secrets can easily be revealed)

_Hot Flashes: (_ You can't just do a show where you model various clothes over your suit, the clothes will probably fall apart if you move to fast and the name is awful)

_Go Green_ : Green Lantern and Green Arrow (Is the show just about the color green? Nobody really knows what you're doing.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is special because it's the first one that has an accompanying story which will be posted soon after this chapter.


	10. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Bat is away the birds come to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A decent amount of the comments I recieved were about the Bat family so I decided to make a chapter 10 celebration with their introduction.

**General Message:**  When Batman claimed to be too busy to attend our most recent league meeting and instead said, "just borrow one of my birds or something." It seems nobody clarified who they were bringing up. This didn't mean that everyone should just pick and choose without consulting anyone else.

**Wonder Woman:**  You can't smuggle Red Hood on board because he claimed to have some "special tips" about seducing Batman. What did he promise and why did you agree?

**Red Hood:**  Having ties with Gotham's villains shouldn't mean that you can text Poison Ivy and ask her for some possibly dangerous aphrodisiacs to pawn off to Wonder Woman for a chance to play Batman for a day. Your main addition to the meeting was your idea to give yourself diplomatic immunity and access to all weaponry seized by the league.

**Flash** : It's no real shock that you brought Nightwing on board, he was probably the best choice you didn't need to vehemently deny your friendship had anything to do with it. Plus your declaration rang rather false when you demanded to sit next to him.

**Nightwing** : You spent the whole meeting impersonating Batman, poorly. Throwing out random catchphrases, declaring yourself "the night" whenever spoken too, and calling Red Hood "chum" repeatedly probably didn't actually improve work place efficiency, though you got a few chuckles.

**Superman** : Why would you believe a fake sob story from Robin who just waxed on about being the only true blooded successor to Batman we'll never know? All we learned was that you flew in with him claiming that you were doing it because he wanted to feel connected with his father and felt his blood connection ostracized him from his siblings. Most of whom he'd be happy to slice in half. You got played by a 10 year old, nice one.

**Robin** : You spent the entire meeting glaring at Red Hood and Red Robin for having the audacity to be in the same space as you and it made many heroes feel uncomfortable. You might be proud to produce a bat-glare, but most people have terrible memories associated with it. The way you were constantly fingering your sword wasn't particularly reassuring.

**Aquaman** : Apparently you were so desperate to get this over with that you just cleared Red Robin for entrance without even waiting for a reason. Your instinct to want the Birds out as quickly as possible was probably the right one, but it was in vain.

**Red Robin** : Your appearance was limited mostly to blatantly tinkering with electronics you "borrowed" rather than actually participating. You just looked up a few times and said yeah, unfortunately whatever you messed with managed to set off the sound system with some strange moaning sound. Martian Manhunter was dispatched to fix it, but it was stuck in the heads of a few of our more sensitive league members.

**Black Canary** : We probably shouldn't have been surprised that you decided to bring Batgirl on board, Birds of Prey stick together.

**Batgirl** : Your suggestions about making the watchtower more handicap accessible was insightful if a bit forceful, which is commendable considering you've already been healed. However hitting Green Lantern when he made an off color joke about wheelchairs might not have been necessary.

**Catwoman** : We don't know how you got on here, but leave immediately. Wonder Woman in particular was not looking pleased at your entrance.

**General Message** : We received more than one remote transmission from other members of the Bat family who wanted to take part the meeting despite not having the time or ability to attend. We promised to try to include them if the Bats were ever needed again mainly to stop the deluge of threats, though we're certainly hoping to avoid visits from any of the family besides our resident Batman.

* * *

**Batman** : Somehow between the time of the meeting and your return somehow a battle broke out. Nobody is entirely sure what started it or who it was even meant to be between, but one minute things were uncomfortable, but stable and the next explosions are going off everywhere. We're not sure how the threat of no pancakes from agent A managed to diffuse the entire situation, but thankfully it did.

**General Message** : More stringent methods needed to be taken to prevent entrance to anyone not officially in the league. We still doubt it will help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my original story this chapter didn't exist (so I'll probably post it on fanfiction as a new chapter) and the family doesn't show up all together until later, but I was inspired and stayed up late to create this. Plus it doesn't break the continuity or flow between chapters (not that there is much) so I was happy to write it.  
> Please let me know what you think because this one wasn't from my vault and it was a bit of a rush job to be totally honest. 
> 
> Are you happy that some of the Bat family made an appearance plus Catwoman (not married to Batman), who else would you have liked to see, and of course did this do them Justice?


	11. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A talent show, of sorts?

**General Message** : Thank you to everyone who participated in our televised charity talent show, it certainly wasn't a resounding success, but it easily could have gone worse. Still we feel it's only right to let some of you know you are not talented at all, sorry.

* * *

**Superman:**  Your interpretive dancing was not nearly as graceful as you thought, many viewers were mildly scared and a full black bodysuit is not the right look for you.

**Martian Manhunter:**  Stand up comedy is probably not the best career choice for you nor is it a good talent. The content you chose made very little sense, you never went to high school, don't make jokes about your child life if you're just stealing stories from people's memories.

**Batman:**  Your musical performance and multiple encores were very well done, your singing reduced many listeners to tears and yet another fan club formed for you. However your rapping was more than slightly hurtful towards some of your peers. Yes, you have 'lyrical flow, like a pro', but you didn't need to bash half the league and reduce them to depressed messes. We have Black Canary hosting a therapy session scheduled for next week we'd like you to attend to apologize, even if you aren't sorry.

**Aquaman:**  For once your fish obsession was working perfectly fine when you were putting on a show with your 'friends'. Things quickly went downhill when you invited a few staff members to participate and promptly let them get attacked by sharks. They were thankfully given Shark repellent Bat-Spray beforehand, so there were no fatalities although there were a few injuries.

**Green Arrow** : It could have been simple, all you needed to do was put on an archery demonstration with some cool moves and trick shots, but instead you tried to force Hawk woman to fly around carrying targets for you to shoot while you sang off key. You both seemed to forget you're allergic to her feathers which led to you sneezing and misfiring. You shot Hawk Woman's left wing sending her crashing into a wall. The injury is being tended to and there will be no long term damages, but it stopped her from performing her act, we still aren't sure what she was going to do.

**Green Lantern** : You should have mentioned you have stage fright instead of walking on stage freezing and nearly throwing up on stage.

**Flash:**  Your impressions were actually a hit, although they were quite bad for the most part it was funny. Some people swore they saw Batman crack a smile, but they were quickly silenced by an 'unknown assailant' so we can't be sure.

**Wonder Woman** : We aren't sure what you were thinking when you were trying to do a weapon's show, but next time don't ask Batman to help show how to tie someone up. He swapped in Booster Gold to help you with your act and in annoyance you punched Booster off stage. We never found out whether you wanted to tie up Batman or wanted him to tie you up, perhaps that's for the best. 

**Zatanna** : Thank you for trying to put on a magic show, a simple act that should have brought wonder and joy. Unfortunately you also brought Constantine.

**Constantine** : A magical assistant isn't supposed to use their own magic to "spice things up." Especially if your idea is to create gushing fake blood when Zatanna pretends to cut you in half. We're just lucky it was televised and the crowd was made entirely of heroes otherwise you probably would have sprayed a bunch of citizens. 

**Captain Marvel:** Compared to Martian Manhunter your comedic skills were great leading to a standing ovation from the heroes in. How much of that was related to Batman threatening people into clapping, we don't actually know.

**General Message:**  The total donations are still being tallied, but they are surprisingly high considering the relative mess some of you created.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter please let me know what you thought and leave kudos if you liked it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	12. Public Service Announcements of Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heroes just want to play video games

**General Message** \- Video games are going to be removed from the watchtower if things continue to progress as they have been. It's worrisome how you are reacting and growing addicted. Also any Call of Duty games are banned because Batman reaffirmed he didn't like guns after getting sniped and Injustice: Gods Among Us is definitely banned within a few minutes of it being turned on, the game room was destroyed by multiple heroes.

 **Superman** : We're cutting you off from Farmville, even if it feels like you're back on the farm, 'borrowing' Batman's credit card to buy Farm bucks is not okay. On another note when you play Grand Theft Auto, you don't need to obey the traffic rules, that's almost the opposite point of the game. Also you can't try to force Batman to make a version with turn signals, because you feel guilty.

 **Green Arrow** : It's not the fault of anyone in the League that video games don't, "perfectly capture the amazingness of battle with bows and arrows." We have practice dummies and targets in the training room why don't you train in there? Stop running through the Watchtower shooting at random objects and yelling, "That's how it's done." Batman has already threatened to use you as a target while he let's Red Arrow give archery lessons to the other League members, Red Arrow has agreed and multiple people have shown interest.

 **Flash:** Sonic is just a hedgehog don't get upset that you don't think he's fast enough, please stop yelling that he's a spiky slowpoke it's weird. Just play with the chao babies and relax.

 **Batman** \- Your interest in games was actually surprising to most of us, we assumed you'd be the one to shun games to focus on work. Your choice to play Pokemon was also unexpected, but your recent wins in online competitions have been impressive, although we would caution against using Batman as your username. A big birdie told us you play Pokemon because Robin plays and he needed someone to trade with, we also heard you've been forcing members of the 'bat family' to play as bonding. In other news members of the League are clambering for Pokemon games and want your recommendations.

 **Wonder Woman** \- Walking around with over thirty Tamogatchi hooked onto your suit is weird enough, but stop trying to force everyone to babysit while you're busy because, "children don't belong on the battlefield". Even though some league members were they are happy to take care of them, half of the Tamogatchi ended up lying lost on the ground unattended leaving your 'babies' to die.

 **Hawk Woman** \- Please don't hold a funeral for Wonder Woman's Tamogatchi your just making things worse and no you can't play the Super Mario Bros theme song for the funeral procession nor can you ride a cart wearing a princess peach costume to carry the 'dead'. Do any of you realize you can reset them? Two of the few surviving Tamogatchi are SuperBat being taken care of by Superman and LittleWing who has already been inducted into the bat family by its caretaker, Batman.

 **Aquaman:** None of the hand-held consoles are waterproof so no, you can't take them home if you plan on swimming. Batman is tired of replacing waterlogged systems, its less the money and more the point of it. 

 **Batfamily:** We know that Batman provides you with whatever you want so we know for a fact you have your own game room, don't visit just to beat the league members who are new to gaming and laugh at them. They're developing inferiority complexes with Batman praising your skills. When a grown alien is pouting because a child beat them in Super Smash Brothers, it becomes an issue. Just stick to Pokemon for now it's better for everyone.

 **General Message** : We are now allowing cosplay if you want to dress as your favorite video game character, but only on the weekends and only in the tower. Not naming names, but you can't dress up as Link to fight crime, it's silly and people kept thinking you were Green Arrow, which he didn't appreciate. Superman we understand you like playing as Batman in the Arkham games, but you can't dress as him it's creepy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed it leave a kudos and feel free to tell me what you think in a comment. 
> 
> I just imagined Wonder Woman to be the type of person who gets really excited about something at the start and then loses interest so she pawns all her Tamogatchi off on other people, but is somehow still devastated when they die.


	13. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An ethics seminar for the heroes

**General Message** : After hearing many disturbing reports it has been decided that there will be a mandatory ethics seminar for all league members, **no exceptions**. Those of you who are very obviously tiptoeing away towards the nearest exit are included. 

**Booster Gold:** When we said **no exceptions** we might have been exaggerating, please feel free to leave... we're sure you're busy.

**Triumph:** Where did you come from? Please feel free to go on out with Booster.

**Flash:** When asked if you think you make ethical decisions your answer shouldn't be to wink at the woman who asked and say, "Depends on what your definition of ethical is." You clearly picked the wrong target for your poor flirting she seemed remarkably uncomfortable. 

**Hawk woman:** Your answer to the same question shouldn't be, "When it suits me," and then proceed to run your hand along your mace. Seriously, you need to calm down with the weaponry.

**Atom:**  You just shrank and ran away, we're going to mark that down as another problem alongside your various misuses of power mostly to spy on others.

**Superman** : You were expressing all the qualities a good person and hero needed to be successful, but that quickly went downhill when Aquaman mocked you and declared your boy scout persona is why Batman doesn't like you and people think you're a dork. Throwing him into a wall is not the correct reaction and Batman's slow clap doesn't make it better. Is he rubbing off on you?

**Aquaman** : We'd tell you not to make fun of people during an ethics seminar, but you've probably learned that considering your currently in the medical bay.

**Wonder Woman** : Just because the general topic of workplace romance came up does not mean anyone was trying to get in the middle of you and Batman. The nonexistent romance you have is not going to be in jeopardy. So we'd suggest you stop threatening people, they were asking for someone to sedate you. Nobody was sure what to use so someone suggested elephant tranquilizers, we'd rather not have to test them. 

**Martian Manhunter** : When asked about trust in the workplace your response of, "I can read minds I know who can't be trusted." and then glancing at various people just made everyone paranoid about who couldn't be trusted. We really don't need anyone being more unstable than they already are. The heroes around here always seem to be on edge we don't need fights breaking out again. 

**Captain Marvel:**  You've been excused because Batman claims you're a, "good boy" and nobody really wants to start an argument with him. Plus you rarely cause trouble, so he's not entirely wrong. 

**Batman** : Telling horror stories of what has happened in the league under the pretense that you want to discuss them is not OK. Most of the seminar's workers left the room in tears, gagging, or with their faces frozen horror. Playing innocent doesn't work when you're smirking at the seminar ending early, thanks largely to you.

**Green Arrow:** Offering to give out free arrows to the seminar workers to cheer them up might have been more effective if they weren't trap arrows and explosives. Somehow nobody died, but the league is being forced to cover medical costs which Batman is going to end up paying for like usual. He swore to do something unethical to you.

**General Message** : We received a report about your performance and suggestions on what do to fix any issues. All it said was, "They're horrible and twisted monsters. Good luck, we don't know how to fix them." Needless to say it was a failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aquaman is occasionally treated like a punching bag, especially when Batman is in a mood, but there are a heroes that even the Public Service Committee don't like. (Not that they have much love for the league in general)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed please let me know what you thought and feel free to give this a kudos. 
> 
> It makes me really happy to see comments, but don't worry I'll never demand a certain amount of comments before I post.


	14. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it a cold or a plague?

**General Message** : There is no plague and nobody is dying, please calm down. We understand you have been led to believe that Batman is on the verge of death and some virus is infecting the league, but none of it is true.

**Flash** : Just because Batman is coughing and feeling a bit sick does not mean there is a plague. We don't care that Batman never get's sick, you can worry about him if you like, but running through the watchtower screaming that a plague has broken out and Batman is dying is not good for morale. The news spread quickly and soon half the league members were convinced they were going to die.

**Hawkwoman** : We aren't sure how you came to the conclusion that you needed to 'dispose' of anyone who is contaminated, but stop hunting down random league members, nobody is infected. What's your standard for who is and isn't infected?

**Wonder Woman** : Nursing Batman back to health is very sweet, but your methods leave quite a bit to be desired. Specifically your decision that his clothes were probably to blame and that you needed to take his suit off. Also he needs very simple medication you can get from a store not a potion you got from a gypsy on the side of some road. We're fairly certain sure it's a love potion not one to help with colds, so you're being replaced with Superman.

**Superman:**  You're jumping the gun a bit by trying to prepare a funeral for your best friend and sobbing uncontrollably. He will survive please stop the waterworks, it's making people uncomfortable and furthering their belief that something is happening. We've also decided you have to replace Wonder Woman as Batman's main caretaker, she's not helping. Bring actual medicine if there is anything made by a gypsy we will replace you as well.

**Cyborg:** Stop checking Web MD, you keep coming up with new issues that everyone has. According you everyone has the bubonic plague, some parasite, and mad cow disease among other random illnesses.

**Green Lantern:**  Please come out of the bubble you created, it's safe we promise.

**Aquaman:**  You don't need to hide underwater, it isn't an airborne disease and your sea friends can't help you.

**Martian Manhunter** : Please don't try to initiate a lock down if you don't know how the new system works. You set off the fire alarms and drenched the cafeteria as well as the hallways. More people were hurt by slipping than they were by this nonexistent sickness.

**Plastic Man:** The fact that the moment you heard about the plague you decided to start melting to scare people just means you should stop coming, and you can't complain about Flash slipping in your melted form, that's on you. 

**Batman** : Please don't come to the watchtower if you have a cold, you managed to start an all out riot just by sneezing a few times and coughing. For once we actually don't think you did this on purpose although we aren't entirely sure how you got sick. Still this does show the power you have over the league, it's a bit disturbing.

**Dr. Fate:** We know you aren't a medical doctor, but league members refuse to trust the staff, claiming they want to hide the truth. We aren't sure why they believe that, but the league would probably believe you over medical professionals. 

**Nightwing:**  Thank you for your call to explain the situation. Batman caught the cold while taking care of the Bat family, most of whom had caught colds. His fatherly duties left him ill and that led to the entire league suffering.

**Green Arrow:**  We are sorry that you actually did get sick, but that was because you drank Wonder Woman's gypsy juice, not for any other reason.

**General Message:**  Most of you are aliens or have superpowers that protect you from getting sick anyway, why are you worried?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think by commenting and feel free to give the story a kudos. It makes me really happy.


	15. PSAoJ Valentine's Special Pt. 1 and Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The female league members giving gifts to male league members and their reactions.

**Pt. 1 of Valentine's Day Female - Male**

* * *

**General Message:**  Although we are apprehensive, valentine gift giving is allowed. Feel free to express your love or whatever broken version of love you manage to conjure up as long as you clear it with us first.

**Wonder Woman:**  The fact that you decided to "sit this one out" when a disaster occurred in Australia can't happen again. Thankfully the rest of the league picked up the slack, but being too busy trying to prepare you valentine gift isn't reason to let innocent people die. We also noticed you smeared chocolate all over the walls of the monitor womb spelling out "Love me Batman"

**Hawk Woman:**  Although we're sure Green Lantern will appreciate the your "special abridged version" of the kamasutra and gift coupons referencing certain pages, we don't want to see anything like it again. On another note Wonder Woman wants a copy.

**Black Canary:**  When you said, "I'm the greatest gift he'll ever get" we honestly believed Green Arrow would end up with nothing. Still you brought some apparently hand made chocolate in what we assume will be the most normal gift to come out of the holiday.

**Oracle:**  Bringing Nightwing up to the Watchtower for Valentine's Day to record the "absolute mess" that will inevitably happen isn't a real gift. Batman of course is happy to see you both and is planning to give you footage from the hidden cameras he keeps all throughout the Watchtower for Nightwing's gift.

**Catwoman:**  You can't sneak on board for a quick "Cat nap" with Batman then promise to celebrate for real back in Gotham and expect to sneak out without anyone noticing, if Wonder Woman wasn't so wrapped up she'd probably strangle you.

**Talia Al Ghul:**  Did you follow Catwoman or something? Your reasoning of coming to make another possible heir and strengthen the al Ghul legacy only worked because nobody really knows what to expect from you and having another lovechild wouldn't be the craziest. Don't tell Robin we said that.

**Ice:**  Bringing some frozen chocolate treats is fine, but when you show up asking for Green Lantern, you should make sure you clarify which one and who is on board. Hawk Woman was none to pleased and your excuse of wrong Lantern, didn't fully calm her. Leaving them for Superman because you thought they might go bad was nice. Though they were frozen so were they actually going to go bad?

**Hawk Woman** : Stealing back your gifts from Green Lantern and giving them to Hawkman because Ice annoyed you, isn't the proper reaction.

**Zatanna:**  We're not sure the backstory, but apparently Constantine was supposed to be your valentine, somehow you ended up in a fight and tried to upset him by flirting with Batman and giving him chocolate. Your explanation that you would've flirted with Nightwing, but you didn't want to hurt Oracle's feelings was nice for your friend, but didn't really please anyone else.

* * *

**Pt. 2 Valentine Day Female - Male Reactions**

**Batman:**  The brown smears on the walls were supposed to say "Love me Batman" from Wonder Woman unfortunately they melted to the point where they were illegible and it just looked like someone defiled the monitor womb, at least the room smells like chocolate now.

**Green Lantern:**  We know you're probably upset that when you tried to cash one of your gift coupons from Hawk Woman they had all disappeared, but you can blame Ice for that. We just hope Hawkman returns them instead of using them and that you don't find him first.

**Green Arrow:**  Apparently Black Canary didn't appreciate it when you asked, "are these explosive" when she gave you a homemade gift. It seems like when someone puts work into something they prefer it be appreciated rather than feared, she took it back and gave it to

**NightWing:**  We can tell you're pleased with Oracle's gift, but promising to, "pay it back in full." Could either be very ominous for the league or just a way of saying you'll do something nice for her, which might still be ominous for the league.

**Batman:** Sneaking off with Catwoman is so normal that at this point some heroes already think she's part of the league.

**Batman:**  You need to stop making a habit of bringing women on board to join your Bat harem especially villians or non heroes in general. How are you not concerned about this at all?

**Superman:**  The frozen chocolates you found were from Ice, not Batman despite your assumption and his lack of denial. Declaring it was now "Pal-entine's Day" and rushing to create something for Batman as a response really isn't' necessary. Everyone feels uncomfortable about ruining your happiness and Ice already left so it's too late to do anything.

**Hawkman:**  Just give the gift back to Green Lantern of Hawk Woman nobody really wants to deal with a league affair on Valentine's Day.

**Constantine:**  You seemed entirely unaffected by Zatanna's display and only said, "you want to play this game?" We aren't sure what you mean, but please don't sexually harass any of out league members out of spite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be doing a companion chapter where male league members give gifts to female league members in the same format. It'll be posted not tomorrow, but the day after. If you look in the comics/shows, every couple has it's place even if it was just a minor thing.  
> Ex: Ice was in a relationship with a certain Green Lantern, but had a crush on Superman  
> Ex: Zatanna and Batman considered a serious relationship in the comics and she dated Nightwing in the show Young Justice.  
> League members get around, Batman in particular could have an entire story about his escapades.  
> Wonder Woman's gift will be explained more in the next chapter.


	16. PSAoJ Valentine's Day Special Part 3 and 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parts 3 and 4 of the Justice League's valentine's day.

**Pt. 3 Male Gifts**

**General Message:**  Although we are apprehensive, valentine gift giving is allowed. Feel free to express your love or whatever broken version of love you manage to conjure up as long as you clear it with us first.

**Batman** : Sending yourself candy and gifts in a bid to get league members jealous and spark up fights was quite effective and in very poor taste. Being nice enough to give away the unwanted gifts from "admirers" just made things worse. Apparently you also finally found Wonder Woman's gift which was just her naked in wrapping paper you never actually brought a gift all you did was say, "I'll unwrap this in private." and drag her into your room.

**Captain Marvel:**  Try not to make yourself sick eating all the candy Batman gave you because he didn't want it. It was a very nice gesture, but that doesn't mean you need to eat it all at once to prove how grateful you are.

**Green Lantern:**  We understand you're upset with Hawk Woman for stealing her gift back and Hawkman for accepting it, but starting an all out manhunt on the other hero isn't necessary. You've crushed your own gift to the point where we can't tell what it initially was and more than one hero is knocked out because you smashed them accidentally. At least try to hit your target, not bystanders. To be fair they are likely guilty of something anyway.

**Green Arrow:**  We can see you're pulling out all the stops to get Black Canary's forgiveness, but a few heroes were uncomfortable with the display you're creating. Your chocolate sculpture looks like melting wax.

**Robin** : Did you follow your mother on board? This is certainly not the best time for a visit and even though Nightwing promises watch over you, we can't really take that as assurance, considering he's spending his time with Oracle filming any fights breaking out. If you aren't going to leave just make sure your dog doesn't eat any chocolate. Why does nobody care that we continually say not to bring animals on board?

**Nightwing:**  Clearly you have very little interest in actually keeping control of Robin and instead are just causing havoc by following your father's foot steps and sending forged cards to league members to create drama. Claiming that it would improve Oracle's video and that it was havoc for a good cause isn't an acceptable response.

**Superman:**  Clearly you need more experience cooking before you try making chocolate for Batman, you've trashed the kitchen and all the staff fled the scene. It's somewhat sweet that you're doing your best to repay your best friend for the gift he stole credit for, putting the Pal in Palentine's Day, but your frantic actions made more of a mess than anything.

**Constantine:**  We aren't sure how revenge against Zatanna translated to trying to one up her by flirting with Batman to a more severe degree. Essentially everyone watched you literally trying to grind on him. Batman for his part managed to shove you away after a moment without flinching, but the reaction from other heroes were more severe.

* * *

**Pt. 4 Reactions**

**Wonder Woman:**  You spent some time in Batman's room and although we aren't sure what he gave you as a gift you seemed quite pleased. Nobody wants to hear about it so stop bragging. We're just surprised that you spent so much time wrapped up alone before he found you, thankfully by doing so you largely stayed out of trouble something we can't say for the majority of the league.

**Superman:**  We're sorry that Batman broke your heart when he gave chocolates to Captain Marvel, apparently you took this to mean that you weren't his only special Pal. However trashing the kitchen you spent so long in wasn't warranted at all and you proved the kitchen staff right in their decision to leave. Thankfully you calmed down when Batman came to talk to you, we aren't sure what was said, but he patted you on the head and you declared yourselves "Pals for life". Batman had no comment.

**Zatanna** : We understand that you're upset with Constantine for sexually harassing Batman to get back at you, but your wild cackling and promises of doom really should really be kept to a minimum.

**Oracle** : The fact that you are pleased with the efforts of Nightwing to create discord in the Watchtower really says something about your character. Seriously does anyone in the Bat family not enjoy other's pain in some form?

**Batman** : We aren't going to complain that after accepting Superman's chocolate you left the Watchtower, mainly because you tend to be the source of many problems and because you took Robin, Nightwing, and Oracle along with you all of whom also seem to enjoy causing problems. However, you left behind one card for the, "Best league member", but didn't clarify who it was. Now half the league is fighting about who it was meant for. Superman and Wonder Woman in particular are adamant the card was for them.

**Captain Marvel:**  You left with Batman because you made yourself sick after devouring Batman's chocolate, just as we feared. Still that's one less hero to join the battle for whoever Batman's Valentine or Palentine was for.

**Black Canary:**  Thankfully despite Green Arrow's apology being melted and deformed you forgave him and left the Watchtower to enjoy your day in peace. That is certainly advice we'd like to give to the rest of the league none of whom we believe would listen.

**Hawk Man:**  Nobody actually saw what happened, but based on your unconscious state and Green Lantern looking like he'd been in a serious battle we can only assume you managed to fight.

**Hawk Woman:**  Green Lantern managed to stay conscious long enough to claim his gift, but while trying to cash one of his coupons he fainted. Rather than try to take care of him you only said, "There is no coupon for that." and left him in the hallway.

**Aquaman:**  Coming to the Watchtower to pick something up for Mera before heading back to Atlantis you found the Watchtower full of unconscious heroes and smeared with melted chocolate. After dropping Green Lantern in the infirmary you walked straight out without talking to anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of the Valentine's Day special, I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you thought and feel free me a kudos or bookmark the story if you haven't to stay on top of when I post.


	17. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman just wants to be King

**General Message:** Welcome to the Kingdom of the Watchtower, please bow before all royalty.

**Shining**   **Knight** : Please stop bringing your flying horse to the watchtower, he seems to dislike certain members and is quite distracting. It doesn't matter that you were a knight of the round table and blessed by Merlin you don't get special treatment. Plus your decision to refer to yourself as Sir Justin has led members to follow suit by giving themselves titles. We now have to deal with Earl Flash, Superman the Duke of Metropolis, Queen Diana (she's the only true royalty, but she's a princess), and of course King Batman. King Batman promises to allow you to join his 'oval table' should you choose to join.

**King**   **Batman** : Why, why do you have to do these things? We don't need a monarchy, this is just going to take the voice away from the other members and allow you to make decisions for everyone. Plus other people are getting on board soon nobody will be able to oppose you, this is more like a dictatorship than anything else. You're also choosing who is allowed to serve in your court and who is forced to be a peasant, this could easily hurt teamwork when some members believe themselves better than others.

**Queen Diana** : We aren't surprised that you jumped on this and decided to become Batman's new wife and queen of the league. You're the only member who actually is royalty, although you're a princess. Stop harassing people to make a crown and don't use your powers to try to force others to do your work so you can spend time with Batman, working on "making another prince or princess"

**Prince Nightwing:**  This makes sense the entire bat clan has been promoted to the status as royalty regardless of how much or little they are involved in the league. Please try to control them, we can't ask the king because he's happy to let them run wild. We fear that they're going to follow in your footsteps and show up here.

**Earl Flash** : We aren't sure how you got this title, but we don't care. Just stop running around and shoving your noble status in the face of everyone who you see, your enemies don't need to know about it nor do your friends. Do you even know what an earl is, because you obviously don't know what one does. 

**Superman Duke of Metropolis:**  Your begging and whining has succeeded, congratulations Batman has made you a duke. However he also made you an errand boy, which is not the job of a duke. You don't need to do that for him even if you profess that you are happy to 'serve the king however you can.' Your loyalty is impressive and sad, do what you want we can't stop you.

**Zatanna** : You don't really need to worry about the fake monarchy so trying to apply as court wizard is unnecessary. Which means you aren't in competition with Dr. Fate, we assume he at least will ignore this out of hand mess.

**Dr.**   **Fate** : Joining the new Watchtower Kingdom will not 'foster order', if anything it will just make things worse around here. Think about it Batman is going to be a king who knows what he'll do. Actually that really isn't a big change is it? He already makes up his own rules and bosses people around, now he'll just have the monarchy behind him.

**Aquaman** : Batman is offering to meet with you to discuss peace talks so when he tries to conquer the world you won't get in the way. He will promise to leave the sea alone, but he may require your assistance to attack the world if and when the time comes.

**Diplomatic Lantern** : You've been made the diplomatic envoy to the Green Lantern Corps and you'll be responsible for dealing with any matters with species directly tied to them, all information is expected to be reported to the self-appointed King. 

**Green Arrow:** You've been nominated for Court Jester a number of heroes were annoyed at you and are trying to throw you to the wolves or in other words, Batman. Nobody actually knows what he'll do to you as a Jester, but hopefully it won't cause any long-term damage. Of course he may just decide not to give you a place in his Kingdom. 

**Peasants:** To the entire staff we are sorry Batman has named you peasants, aside from the doctors and head chef because you 'serve a purpose'. You may be joined by other League members if Batman doesn't like them.

**General Message** : If you wish to join Batman's kingdom you can head to his court to apply, he will judge you and make his decision. We urge you not to, this can only go poorly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Kingdom will last two or three chapters while maintaining the same format as the rest of the story.
> 
> Thanks for reading please leave a comment if you have anything to say and give me a kudos or bookmark the story if you want to keep up to date. Otherwise new chapters come between Friday-Sunday.


	18. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> King Batman needs to fill the royal treasury

**General Message:**  In his most recent decree King Batman decided that everyone had to earn money because he was annoyed that he was constantly paying for things. He didn't enact the tithe he was considering, but he is instead forcing all league members to 'fund raise' in any way they can.

 **Hawk Woman:**  Trying to sell life size wings styled after your own was a horrible idea considering how you decided to build them. The ones you made with built in rockets (without informing anyone) immediately sent the first customers flying and they either malfunctioned allowing the people to fall to the ground or smashed them into something. The league is being sued by multiple people, all you've done is lose us money.

 **Superman:**  Your homemade cookies are quite delicious and everyone in the league agrees on that, but they aren't girl scouts. Nobody is going to go door to door selling the cookies. The only one who could actually do it would be the Flash who needs to 'refuel' during his work by eating all the cookies. However, Batman is requesting the recipe so he can make it a staple in his kingdom's official diet and give it to Alfred to make a few batches for the Bat family. 

 **Aquaman** : Just because you're sulking about Batman not declaring you a high-ranking member in his kingdom doesn't mean you don't have to participate. You have your own Kingdom so enjoy that, but for now since you work and have lodgings in the Watchtower which Batman paid for you still have to help out. Do a dolphin show or something, Batman may make you a flat out peasant if you don't at least try to follow his commands. This is honestly a mess and we're sad that we are now advocating you serving the King, but for the time being try not to upset him.

 **Booster Gold:**  Stop harassing members to be in a commercial with you. The only superhero who actually eats at 'Big Belly Burger' is Flash and even he admits it's pretty bad. However we've heard Aquaman is considering it mainly because he thinks they only kill land animals and he has nothing else to do (Don't mention their questionable fish fillet sandwich).

 **Wonder Woman** : Nobody is quite sure how or when you contacted the photographers that were planning on creating a calendar made of nude photos of league members, but that is most certainly not allowed even if Green Arrow is all for it. The idea isn't all that bad we'll look into making a Justice League calendar with photos of the league members, but they will be clothed.

 **Captain Marvel:**  We aren't entirely sure what 'studying for midterms' relates to, but Batman has decided to allow you out of any obligations to do whatever it is that you need, he also offered to 'tutor' you. Once again we have no idea what's going on, but just try not to cause any trouble.

 **Green Arrow:**  Apparently in your case having to 'study for midterms' is not a valid excuse and you are forced to continue participating in this insane attempt to earn some money for the league. Another note, you can't sell arrows to the public if they're made from live explosives, we are facing multiple lawsuits.

 **Plastic man:** We know that you were a small time criminal at one point, but when you capture a criminal who robbed a bank you can't keep the money and donate it to the Justice League. You have to return it to the bank your excuse, which Batman approved of was, "the bank already lost the money I'm just making sure it goes to a good cause." Now we have other heroes asking if they can really just keep what we find when catching villains. 

 **Lex Luthor:** We don't see you around often because most of the heroes still hate you, but popping in to drop off a check for an undisclosed amount of money clearly got you in Batman's good books. He was heard saying, "This is why I like rich people." Which is almost like a compliment to you and any other rich person willing to give him money. Luckily Superman was in the kitchen while you were on board and you didn't run into each other. 

 **Batman:**  You can't extort money out of people by threatening not to save certain places in disasters if they don't pay for your services. Charging people for protection goes against the point of being a hero. Telling the entirety of Belgium that they're out of luck next time aliens attack the planet unless they pay up, is truly deplorable. However if the deals go through, you will bring in the most money which is your mind probably makes up for it. 

 **General Message:**  A line of league inspired teddy bears was released based on a design by Robin years ago. The Bat-bear has been selling millions worldwide and is bringing a steady stream of profit, all of which Batman declared was going to him minus what is needed to pay for the lawsuits. Thankfully due to the money coming in Batman has decided the world deserves to be protected and Belgium is once again safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a companion story "What's a Date Worth" where Batman basically makes people pay to compete for a chance to date him. I'll be posting that tomorrow. 
> 
> Note: Apologies to anyone from Belgium, you were chosen at random.


	19. Public Service Announcements of Justice 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kingdom is taken over by the Bat family

**General Message:**  Batman has demanded everyone in the Kingdom gather together for an important announcement. 

**King Batman:**  Over the course of a single meeting you took everyone's titles away from them citing, "restructuring" in the kingdom. What happened afterwards was your birds and bats filling all positions of power, of course they're all made up in the first place, but the implications of your decision to make your family superior to the league isn't great for team morale.

**Prince Robin:**  You can't just demand Metropolis because you want to hold it over Johnathon who probably won't appreciate his father being deposed and you commandeering his city. Beyond that stop walking through the Watchtower demanding members do random tasks because they're "peasants who aren't doing anything better." We can certainly tell you're Batman's son and no that isn't a compliment.

**Superman:**  When Robin claims ownership over your city you can't just say, "Sure I trust you." He's a kid, do you assume Batman will watch over things because that isn't much better. Besides you never owned it to begin with so you can't give it away to someone else because they want it and they're Batman's son.

**Royal Hound:**  Stop marking your territory in heroes private quarters, just stop in general.

**Other Royal Hound:**  We didn't know there were two of you, do we have anyone who wants to join as some animal tamer.

**Royal Cow?:**  Wait what?

**The Hooded Lord:**  League members don't have salaries, money is provided to cover necessities if they can't work because their responsibilities as a hero, but you can't appropriate funds for yourself with random claims ranging from "Fees for tickets from indecent exposure" to "supplies to go undercover as a rich pimp." Also how you need over a million dollars for "casual lunches and gun polish" we won't pretend to understand. If you're really strapped for cash just ask Batman, we're sure he can cover for you.

**Prince Nightwing:**  You can't start designing new uniforms for league members, based on their positions in the new order and your personal tastes. Some of them aren't suitable to be worn in public, just in terms of not scarring children for life. Seriously and forcing Green Arrow to wear a literal jester uniform.

**Jester:**  You were locked away because Prince Robin was getting annoyed at how "jingly" your costume was. Rather than allow you to change, you're stuck in solitary confinement with only your juggling balls for company.

**Wonder Woman:**  Prince Robin has demanded you wear a full body cloak to stop you from trying to "tempt the king" apparently he'd prefer if his mother ruled by Batman's side or that Batman rule alone.

**Talia:**  We aren't entirely sure of your position, but you showed up wearing a crown that recently went missing from a major museum and a literal bathing suit. Are you trying to get another Prince in the Kingdom?

**Viscount Signal:**  We would say your entrance to the Watchtower was a welcome one, but the first thing you did was strip off your uniform and demand someone make an exact replica using gold for you to wear casually. Also stop flicking all the lights on and off, it's annoying.

**Red Prince:** Normally we'd have no problem with you using the laboratory and workshop to make inventions, but recently you declared you were focusing on how to control rowdy peasants in the Kingdom. We don't want to know what you're building to "control" the league, but we're fairly sure everyone would prefer you stick to defeating criminals.

**Princess Bat**  Girl: Every time someone tries to talk to you, you just respond with, "I'm a princess, and I don't want to deal with you" and walk away.

**Black Bat:**  Apparently you aren't interested in being known as a princess, you throat punched Elastic Man. He was relatively unharmed, but he crashed into Hawk woman who ended up smashing a wall with her mace. Which meant she needed to be punished despite it being your fault.

**Baron Marvel:**  You have been declared a Baron, we aren't sure what comes with your appointment or why you were singled out, but Batman was fairly adamant that you maintain a position above peasant. So congratulations and thankfully your orders and commands are all simple and not harmful.

**Aquaman:** Your saving grace is that you have a Kingdom, Batman still orders you around as a member of the league, but you don't technically fall under the umbrella of his Kingdom. That hasn't stopped Prince Robin from trying to Annex the Pacific Ocean and he's trying to convince Nightwing to take the Atlantic. Hopefully none of that comes to fruition, but just in case you should probably keep watch of your waters for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think. 
> 
> Alright for the time being this the end of the Kingdom, if people enjoy it enough I might bring it back sometime down the line.


	20. Public Service Announcement of Justice 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman leaves and trouble arives

**General Message** : Batman has to go on a covert mission alone so nobody be alarmed when you don't see him for the next week or so. Please try to keep yourselves under control during his absence, of course things probably couldn't get worse than when he's here stirring things up. The Bat Kingdom has been put on hold so everyone can finally act normally. 

**Plastic Man:** Please don't pretend to be Batman again, you almost managed to start a panic. You literally started to melt under the pressure of people constantly coming after you thinking you were Batman and convinced the heroes who didn't know he left on a mission that he was dying.

**Wonder Woman** : To be honest we expected you to freak out, but we didn't know you'd start punching through walls to relieve your anger over Batman 'hitting up his side chicks'. We're fairly certain Batman has no side chicks so please keep your anger in check, you know Batman will just be angry once he gets back and finds the Watchtower in disarray.

**Superman** : It's only been a few days you can't seriously be feeling separation anxiety over the fact that he isn't around and you can't visit him. Please turn off the depressing music and come out of your room, we're starting to worry about you. Batman will be back eventually then he can console you or at least acknowledge your existence.

**Captain**   **Marvel** : You're a grown adult, you don't need Batman to give you 'fatherly advice'. Whatever your trouble is you can handle it yourself or ask Superman if you can coax him out of his room.

**Flash** : You don't need Batman to convince the kitchen staff to prepare your favorite food for you, just ask like a normal person. We understand they don't like you and usually Batman has to do all the talking for you, but for once just handle it or eat healthy food.

**HawkWoman** \- We're not sure how you got the idea that the tower was now in anarchy and that an all out war began, but please stop attacking people. You alreday landed a few people in the infirmary.

**Green**   **Lantern** \- We will tell you what we told HawkWoman this is not some battle royale, just stay calm and wait until we have some measure of stability before doing anything else.

**Green**   **Arrow** \- Now is not the time for re-decoration while Batman is away, Green doesn't look good on the walls especially since your trying to paint it yourself.

**Black**   **Canary** \- Where have you been? It'd be nice to have at least one level headed person around among the masses of crazed league members running amok.

**Aquaman** \- This most certainly is not your chance to overthrow the kingdom and take control of the league, you aren't the new King, we were finally phasing out the insane leadership issues. Stop preparing your sharks for battle.

**Martian**   **Manhunter** : Tell everyone to evacuate the watchtower, you managed to set off the defense systems and only Batman actually knows how to deactivate them. This is why we don't touch Batman's things.

**General**   **Message** : Although we never imagined we would say this, but the league is better off with Batman around. Morale is at an all time low, most of the league members who aren't in the infirmary have been spending their time destroying the Watchtower, and of course now we've all been driven out.

**Batman** : You seem disturbingly pleased with how things have fallen apart in your absence, please clean things up and don't act smug about the poor mental state of your fellow league members.

**General**   **Message** : Batman has returned and thankfully managed to put the defenses on standby, he is organizing a clean up and will be handing out punishments to the various league members depending on his whims. Aquaman watch yourself, trying to usurp control is a big no-no and Superman we're very happy about your swift recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it, please let me know what you thought.


	21. Public Service Announcement of Justice 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman vs Superman... kinda

**General Message** : We still aren't sure who started posting flyers about Batman and Superman having a showdown, but please remove them quickly. People are already starting to get excited and excitement tends to lead to trouble.

**Green Lantern:**  We had no idea you had a gambling problem, stop trying to set up a betting ring over a fight that shouldn't happen it's helping nobody. We're going to set you up in a group for people with gambling addictions, remember the first step is admitting it.

**Captain Marvel:**  Don't get involved with betting, clearly you can't afford it if you're trying to bet candy. We don't involve ourselves with your private lives, but when questioned about your money situation we found out you don't know if you have a bank account. The only time you visit is to stop robberies. Talk to Batman after we stop the fight, we're sure he'll set something up. 

**HawkWoman:**  You can't try to intimidate people into betting, this isn't a mafia movie and you aren't Green Lantern's thug.

**Martian Manhunter** : No matter what anyone told you, you do not need to send out telepathic messages informing everyone of the upcoming fight. We don't know if we can stop this fight, but we should at least prevent people from showing up.

**Black Canary:**  You don't need to open a concession stand to sell snacks. Why is everyone trying to make money off this? If choose to ignore us then remember you're going to be serving the Flash at some point so make a lot or he'll get angry and hungry. We aren't sure which is worse.

**Green Arrow:**  You never learned how to cook, don't try to help Black Canary we can already smell smoke. You most certainly can't use explosive arrows to toast things, that's not how cooking works.

**Wonder Woman** : Don't create a cheering section so you can force people to root for Batman and degrade Superman. We've heard some of the obscenities you are planning to scream, even after all we've seen and heard in the past that was still disturbing.

**Superman** : You seem to be getting pretty pumped which seems unlike you, are you trying to prove something? You might literally destroy the entire watchtower if you get too serious. Why would you even want to fight Batman, aren't you sort of friends or at least trying to be?

**Aquaman** : We realized you've been egging Superman on by convincing him that beating Batman would earn him respect. We understand that you and Batman have you're differences, but this will almost certainly come back to bite you.

**General Message:**  Are you all pleased? Nobody informed Batman about this ridiculous fight so he wasn't prepared for Superman to punch him moments after he stepped into the tower after a long fight with the Joker. He's currently in the medical wing and if his dark rants are anything to go by you are all doomed. Superman is missing we think he saw the error of his ways, if you see him please try to deal with him.

**Batman** : We heard you planning to destroy the rest of the league, but doesn't that seem like a bit much? We can't believe we're using this as an argument, but don't you still need people to boss around.

**Nightwing** : Are you here to check on Batman or to help him exact his revenge? The remarkably Batmanesque scowl you're wearing makes us believe your reasons for being here lean towards the latter.

**Flash** : Don't let Nightwing recruit you into helping Batman follow through on his evil plot, we know you're friends, but don't fall to the dark side. Is this because Black Canary didn't make you enough food?

**Mera:** Sources are pointing to you starting the fight because Aquaman is constantly mistreated by members of the league, most notably Batman. We won't try to tell you what to do, but getting to the bottom of the ocean before Batman recovers. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed this. Please let me know what you think. 
> 
> Take a wild guess who might visit to defend Batman's honor?


	22. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revenge

**General Message** : The watchtower is currently in a state of paranoia and terror. We would tell you to remain calm, but Batman may very well be planning to destroy you. The watchtower has been set in a state of lock down so nobody can escape the incoming horrors. The power keeps temporarily going out and by the time the lights go back on at least one person is missing or incapacitated.

**Mera:** You had the foresight to leave before this manhunt started and apparently Batman respected your dastardly plan enough that he isn't angry at you, he's more upset with the league being stupid enough to take part in it. However, to prove a point he will torture you if you happen to cross his path, so stay underwater for the time being. 

**Batman** : Nobody has seen you since you exited the medical bay, the only trace of you is the dark laughter coming from seemingly nowhere and the occasional threat in your handwriting stuck to an unconscious league member. Try to remember that nothing good comes from violence, at the very least don't kill anyone and that goes for your family as well. 

**Nightwing** : We don't know how or when you replaced your escrima sticks with actual scythes, but dragging them along the ground to create a screeching noise and kicking up sparks isn't safe. We aren't sure if you're herding the league members somewhere or if you're just trying to further instill fear in them, but it's working.

**Robin:** Your plan to avenge your father has apparently manifested in you bringing in the "dogs of war" and you're taking it very literal, we're concerned about the mutant hounds you let loose. They spit acid and have only been trained to attack anyone not in the family. There's serious risk involved in this escapade, but we don't suppose anything we say will collar the animals.

**Green Lantern** : We still can't find any solvent to remove the many fake rings super glued to your fingers nor has anyone located your actual ring, instead more fake booby trapped rings seem to be popping up and they're growing more dangerous considering the newest ones now administer near lethal levels of electricity upon a single touch. Please don't touch any more unless you're sure it's the right ring.

**Hawkwoman** : It was probably wrong of Batman to drug you and pluck your wings, but at least he replaced them although it was with some unknown heavy metal. Which explains why you're currently lying on the ground like an upside down turtle.

**Cyborg:** Nobody really knows how to fix the hacking on your system, not that they can get close enough to do anything. You've essentially been turned into a walking weapon attacking anyone you see.

**Red Robin:** Reports are coming in that you have a remote control literally labelled, "Cyborg" and have been playing with it. We can only assume this means you're the one controlling Cyborg, please stop this rampage or put him into sleep mode. 

**Wonder Woman** : Please stop fighting Superman, we aren't entirely sure who came up with the idea for the battle, but Superman was only a piece of the problem not the primary cause. If you have to take your aggression out try doing it in the training areas, all you've done is destroy everything and everyone in your way. You should also probably look into the issue of your lasso of truth disappearing and snakes somehow ending up in your suits.

**Superman** : Don't let Wonder Woman hit you in punishment for what you've done. Sure you hurt Batman, but he's already up and lurking in the shadows. If anything you should be more worried about what he might do to you. The fact that kryptonite disguised as rock candy was offered in the dining hall was a punishment for everyone.

**Aquaman** : Nobody knows where you fish are or why your tanks are filled with unidentifiable sludge, though we can be reasonably sure someone from the Batfamily was involved. All anyone found was a single note saying, 'I know what you did' written in blood. We don't know whose blood it is, but watch out for yourself.

**Flash** : We realize you're helping Batman and Nightwing to protect yourself, but poisoning the food supply is a bit much, half the heroes are currently sick and some are convinced they are despite not eating any food. This is the second time Cyborg has been thrown up on by Martian Manhunter since the Oreo incident and neither party is happy.

**Red Hood:** We don't actually know what part you played, all we saw was you walking around laughing and pointing at people who were in pain.

**Black Bat:** Your appearance came about when you crawled up from underneath the tiles, like some sick creature from a horror movie. Someone fell into a cleverly hidden hole in the same general area so we can only assume you were destroying the integrity of the Watchtower to make some pitfalls.

**General Announcement:**  Very few people are actually left in a state where they can function, most are sick or otherwise injured. Everyone is scared and the inescapable darkness with traps hidden behind every corner isn't helping. Batman hasn't even made his appearance yet, but he is clearly around considering he is still pumping an unidentified glowing gas through the vents and laughing through the PA system which he hacked to scare people as they tried to hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 22 is complete please let me know what you thought. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interesting team building exercise because we all know they need it.

**General Message** : Due to a lack of cohesive teamwork we're requiring a team building exercise. This is of course in reference to the fact that in the last disaster the Justice League helped face (An escaped army of radioactive badgers) all injuries sustained by the league members were exclusively inflicted by other team members.

**Captain Marvel** : Although our first choice for team building wouldn't have been a slumber party there was heavy support from a few members, surprisingly including Batman who merely said, "Children should enjoy childhood." We aren't sure what that was supposed to mean, but a slumber party has officially been organized.

**Batman:**  It was nice of you to bring movies to watch, but we noticed a trend. You only brought horror movies starring Jason is there a particular reason for that?

**Nightwing:**  It's nice to see you, but we're not sure who invited you. Judging by Batman's almost smile and nearly everyone's immediate acceptance at seeing you we aren't going question it. Though if we had to guess it was Captain Marvel judging by the horrible crayon handwriting, he seems to favor, on your homemade invitation. However you and Flash had matching pajamas so it might have been him, it is truly a mystery nobody cares enough to solve.

**Robin:** Captain Marvel invited you, but you immediately declared sleepovers were for children and you weren't interested. Partway through the night you trudged into the Watchtower in Batman pajamas making sure to stress that you, "definitely weren't lonely and just wanted to make sure Batman had backup."

**Black Canary:**  You shouldn't insist on watching scary movies if you're going to unleash a canary cry every time you get scared, which apparently is quite often even during the credits.

**Green Arrow:** We hope your ear damage is easily correctable because your incessant yelling when trying to talk is getting on everyone's nerves. They've all moved past being sorry for you so you might want to settle down. 

**Flash** : We're holding you responsible for the explosion in the kitchen. You had already been strictly forbidden from messing around in there, but of course you broke that and it only took you a few minutes to destroy half the kitchen trying to make s'mores.

**Wonder Woman:**  Wearing pajamas is fine, but certainly not required. However wearing a thin robe over your underwear really doesn't count as sleepwear, you do realize you aren't alone and an actual child is present. The sad part is that it's technically less revealing than your normal attire.

**Superman:**  Yes, sleeping bags were on the suggested items list and your Batman themed one is perfectly suitable. However we aren't camping you didn't need to bring an entire tent and you absolutely can't start a bonfire even if Flash is egging you on to make s'mores.

**Aquaman:**  We apologize that the fish tank we ordered for you to sleep in was the wrong size, Batman's insistence on being the one to bring it to the watchtower might have something to do with it. If you'd like, you can sleep in the pool or with your fish friends.

**Hawkwoman:**  As much as we support not causing trouble, you still need to show up, this is required team building. What could you actually have to do that's more important than a slumber party? Actually, there are probably a lot of things that are more important.

**Doctor Fate:**  We apologize that some of the league members are attempting to use you as a nightlight. It's surprising that heroes that regularly face death are worried about what lingers in the dark. If you hear something it's probably just Batman sneaking around.

**General Message:**  This wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened and injuries were kept to a minimum, whether this actually worked as team building is heavily debatable. However, we'll count it as a success so hopefully we don't have to do this again any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think.


	24. Public Service Announcements of Justice 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were poets and didn't know it

**General Message:**  We aren't sure who organized a 'Justice League Poetry Contest', but we just recommend everyone keep things civil and try not to go overboard. Not that anyone will bother to listen to us. Apparently there is a prize, we're not sure where it came from, but the winner will receive the mystery prize. We also don't know who is actually judging.

**Wonder Woman:**  You finally found a creative outlet for your unhealthy interest in Batman by writing, "Bat in my Bed" leaving nearly everyone suitably uncomfortable aside from a smirking Batman.

**Flash:**  You've never been the type to get nervous so it's surprising that you looked worried then sped through your poem so quickly we couldn't even tell what the title was. You then vibrated through the floor before anyone could actually ask any questions. Batman gave you a standing ovation, but we're nearly positive he did that simply to confuse people and give the impression that he was able to somehow understand you.

**Aquaman** : Your rousing speech about preserving the ocean was actually very well done, but it wasn't really a poem so you are disqualified.

**Red Tornado:**  Your poem "Dancing on the Breeze" was actually well done, much to the surprise of many league members. However as the poem progressed you began letting wind whip around launching league members across the room. After quite a few accidents your poem ended and you quietly flew away leaving the mess without acknowledging it.

**Hawkwoman:**  You honestly just sounded vaguely like an angry teenage girl, we also noticed that you read it from a piece of notebook paper with someone else's name on it. Did you steal someone's poem?

**Green Lantern:** We know for a fact that you stole your poem, did you think nobody would notice it was by Edgar Allen Poe when you only changed the tittle to, "A Green Dream Within a Green Dream" Next time try picking something a bit more obscure or better yet writing it yourself. 

**Green Arrow:**  Your poem included way too many double entendres and outright dirty language, thankfully Black Canary quickly escorted you offstage with a kick and a Canary scream that blew out the sound system.

**Black Canary:** Nobody actually heard you because you did indeed, destroy the microphone and destroy the sound system. However it seemed to be a rather angry poem considering your expressions and Superman's cringing. 

**Cyborg:**  Thanks for fixing the microphone, but we would be even more thankful if you didn't read your poem "Half a Man." Thankfully you got too depressed to finish before anyone else started actually paying attention so there was no harm really done.

**Captain Marvel:**  Don't worry you aren't in trouble for not completing a poem, we aren't sure who gave you the impression that it was homework, but participation isn't mandatory as far as we know. You also don't need to worry about not completely understanding Green Arrow's poem.

**Martian Manhunter:**  Nobody else would have been able to read a poem called "Naked Humans" with such a hollow tone, so we commend you for that. When people say write what you know that doesn't mean you stalk league members and write about them. This habit needs to be controlled. 

**Superman:**  Your poem about friendship was a nice break from the horrible things that had been said by most of the league, but it was a bit over the top. "Friendship is caring, I love hugs so stop staring" was a little weird especially since you started spreading your arms wide open, nobody took the invitation.

**Batman** : "My Parents are Dead and many other Tragedies" was beyond creepy and terribly sad. Many league members were left crying for various reasons though some just seemed to be cringing. We also noticed you immediately stormed out and went back to earth ignoring everyone.

**General Message** : After Batman's performance the whole contest fell apart due to a general air of discomfort and no winner was actually crowned, it was just as well because Batman stole the prize when he walked out. We aren't sure if he decided his poem was best or he just didn't want anyone else to have something nice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading please let me know what you thought
> 
> When I first wrote this chapter I was in a poetry course and not loving it. Turns out my poetry either sounds like I'm on drugs or it came from the diary of a 2000s emo kid (I'm not either of those things).


	25. Public Service Announcements of Justice 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading please let me know what you think.

**General Announcement** : We've been having difficulties in finding and transporting supplies to the Watchtower, meaning we're short on certain items. Do you best to survive without them, it shouldn't be a problem. At least it shouldn't be a problem for normal people.

**Aquaman** : Those treats Batman offered to buy you didn't go through due to an error in the online ordering, beyond that you were actually ordering fish flavored cat treats not treats for fish. You would essentially be giving your aquatic friends fish flavored poison. Be a bit more careful.

**Batman** : We're sorry your supply of punching bags was delayed, but that certainly doesn't mean you are allowed to force other league members to "volunteer" to be repeatedly hit. Stop trying to smash Aquaman's head in, we need him. What caused this resentment you seem to have against him?

**Wonder Woman** : The "unmarked products" you've been trying to get your hands on are currently on back order. We've chosen not to inquire about what creepy things you're most likely trying to buy. We've advised everyone to stay out of your way mainly because you're almost as likely to hit people as Batman is.

**Cyborg:** We don't know what you were doing with the parts you ordered, but we're sorry you couldn't upgrade. However some people claim all you were trying to do was build a controller on your arm so you could plug into your game systems. You can probably think of more worthwhile inventions compared to becoming a living game system controller. 

**Superman** : Knitting needles are in short supply nowadays and the type of yarn you were looking for is also unavailable. Despite your intentions of making presents, you'll have to wait and it's the thought that counts, right?

**Flash** : You've been creating a huge mess since your supply of oreos was cut off, we never realized how integral they were for you to function. You've been smashing into things left and right plus your attitude has been almost Batman like.

**Martian Manhunter** : You seem almost as broken up about the oreos as Flash, league members swore they saw a few silent tears make their way down your face when you received the news.

**Plastic Man:** Did you honestly order molds so you could try to fit into them? We've seen you transform into copies of living humans, why would you want to try to become a sand castle?

**Captain Marvel** : Nobody is quite sure why Batman ordered you a toy car, but we're sorry to say it won't be arriving any time soon despite your complaining.

**Green Arrow:**  Don't you think its arrogant to want to order a figurine of yourself, seriously it's a little sad that you want a toy version of yourself. The exclusive figurine bow is also delayed.

**Black Canary:**  Sorry that your order of 20 pairs of fishnets, will be late. We're almost positive you already have a few dozen pairs of identical fishnet stockings, calm down.

**Zatanna** : You don't need to get a "magic for beginners" kit with a fake wand to teach others how to do magic even if Captain Marvel is insistent. Once again he is being let down, mainly because there was a massive recall on the product due to fires caused by sparklers.

**Green Lantern** : We know for a fact that you don't need a nightlight and having a green one doesn't make it sexy. It isn't coming anytime soon so just use your ring to light the room.

**General Announcement:**  We've identified the problems with communications and with the transportation vehicles and we're looking into what specifically caused this, but damaging the Watchtower is almost a pastime for some of you so for the time being we'll assume one of the members did it. Hopefully it was an accident and not just a way to let out frustration.


	26. Public Service Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Book Club

**General Message** : We're cancelling the new book club program, it lasted a day before things fell apart. We're just surprised that we were at all surprised by the failure.

**Batman** : 101 ways to kill a man with school supplies was disturbing and we don't see how it would help anyone here, especially Captain Marvel who you seemed insistent on showing way number 47.

**Captain Marvel** : Why did you bring some kid named Billy's school books and suggest everyone work on the questions? Also please leave Batman's book alone, you don't need to learn anything like that, it isn't self defense no matter what Batman says to you.

**Wonder Woman:**  Bringing a book on Greek mythology was actually interesting until you started trying to focus on stories that could easily be considered indecent or downright violent and disturbing (Though Batman seemed to enjoy them). Seriously why not go with the ones that teach some sort of lesson. Everyone here could use some guidance.

**Green Arrow:**  Bringing an an autobiography titled "Green Arrow Rocks" that you wrote on notebook paper isn't considered having an actual book. Half of it was written in crayon, nobody cares that your pencil broke halfway through the epic tale.

**Superman** : Your book wasn't a problem necessarily, the issue with "Farming: The life corn" was that it was extremely boring. It is now being labelled the easiest way to cure insomnia.

**Hawkwoman** : Bringing a dictionary with all the 'naughty language' highlighted is simply a waste of time and quite childish. All it did was have league members constantly using large words they didn't actually understand.

**Black Canary:**  Just bringing a book from the classes you teach isn't acceptable, they're children books. "Coloring for Tots" only served to interest Flash.

**Flash** : If you forget your book don't pretend your book is a ghost, it scared Superman who is not a fan of the paranormal. A book about ghosts would have been fine, but 'invisible' books don't work and honestly it's a poor lie. Don't show up it's that simple and for Superman's sake don't actually bring any ghost stories around the watchtower.

**Cyborg:** You wrote an instruction manual for the league to use in case of a malfunction? Did you consider someone might use this irresponsibly? We understand that you tend to get involved in accident fairly often, but you're probably putting too much faith in the league members. 

**Green Lantern:**  Your book about the history of the Green Lanterns was actually interesting and informative, but you didn't have to try to sign all the copy's you tried to give to other league members.

**Zatanna:** Bringing a book full of magic spells that even non-magical beings can use to produce spells was just a horrible idea. It was being tossed through half the league so they could all cast stupid spells, the only positive was that the spells made a mess, but because it was a beginner level book there wasn't anything particularly dangerous. 

**General Message:**  It was clearly a mistake to assume something as simple as a book club could be accomplished without issues. Normally just having poor book choices wouldn't be such an issue, but of course it had to be taken a step further. We can't literally ban books from the Watchtower, but gatherings to read books are going to be monitored and the books must be accepted by the founders... all of whom are insane. The order has been changed no more than three people can gather to read books in any common areas.

**Martian Manhunter:**  This lies entirely on you. An entire battle quickly evolved when you appeared suddenly and began quoting the Martian book "How to start a fight" specifically the passages about fighting among colleagues. Please have a bit more discretion when it comes to matters like this. We's force you to pay for the damages, but we aren't entirely sure you have any money so this will be billed to Batman who seemed to enjoy the fight anyway.


	27. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to put some rules in place

**General Message:**  Due to the continual failure at maintaining long standing rules to keep control (aside from our brief stint as the kingdom of Bats and its Bat Code), we've decided to adopt a new set of rules: The Justice Accords. To make it fair we will allow each member of the league to offer a suggestion for a rule. Please send us your suggestions.

**Superman:**  We should all sing a Justice League Anthem every dawn. The anthem will be composed by myself and Batman, "Justice Rules."

**Captain Marvel:**  Our long meetings need recess because I get bored plus some snacks.

**Flash** : Running in hallways is required anyone who doesn't comply has to skate around the watchtower on rocket powered roller blades dyed red and yellow. Also I agree with Captain Marvel, our meetings are long and boring.

**Wonder Woman:**  Clothing is optional for attractive league members. All decisions on who is considered attractive will be done by a council I appoint headed by me. Actually, I changed my mind clothing is banned for attractive league members when they're on the Watchtower.

**Green Lantern** : Everyone needs to wear rings and when we go into battle, they have to hold them over their head and give a battle cry. Each member can create their own unique battle cry, but make it loud and proud.

**Hawk Woman** : Roosts must be built so flying members can hang over everyone else, no non-flying members allowed. I have some sticks, grass, and mud if anyone wants to get a head start.

**Aquaman:** We should have rivers running down every hallway so we can swim wherever we want rather than walk like fools or fly.

**Green Arrow:**  The Justice League has to form a professional archery league, all members must participate it's not optional. I call team captain and we're all wearing green uniforms. We can discuss the name later, but I suggest "Arrow Heads"

**Cyborg:**  We need to install more outlets around the Watchtower so I have more places to charge my built in speakers, they've been acting up since the last rave I went to.

**Zatanna** : Throwing confetti around is expected every time any action is completed such as: cooking, winning a game, finishing a meeting, eating, walking through doorways, waking up, and anything else someone can come up with.

**Nightwing:**  I suggest free access for all bat family members. Realistically though if we really feel like it we could just break in, this is more for your sake. This way Robin doesn't have to come in swinging his sword, it can be a bit more peaceful. 

**Catwoman** : I want free access so I can visit Batman, somebody make that happen, I probably won't steal anything.

**Batman** : I can ignore all rules as I please and make new ones up whenever I choose. I also agree that we have a 'recess' because I need a break from listening to discussions that don't matter because my ideas and decisions are obviously always correct.

**General Message:**  We've decided to ignore all the suggestions made by the various league members and non-league members who somehow got access, mainly because they add nothing useful and we're definitely not inviting super villains to visit freely. We'll be putting our new rules into effect immediately, although we honestly wonder how much power we actually have over what you do. Plus considering you run your own meetings you don't actually have to ask us for a recess you can just do as you please. All we ask is that everyone stay under control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright thanks for reading and please let me know what you think.
> 
> Also yes the characters directly spoke like magic.


	28. Public Service Announcement of Justice 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why is everyone a hero?

**General Message:**  We want to understand what being a hero means to you, specifically why you help people despite the fact that most of you are twisted and clearly suffering from some personality disorders or something equally as effective at making your behavior generally unacceptable and often downright dangerous.

**Flash:**  Feeling cool and getting people to notice you isn't really a compelling reason to aid them, it's not a popularity contest. Although you'd probably do quite well, so don't concern yourself with it.

**Wonder Woman:**  Using the missions as an outlet for your rage means you need therapy not enemies and trying to do the most damage isn't impressing anyone least of all Batman who usually ends up paying for repairs.

**Zatanna** : We don't recommend using your exploits as a hero as a way to drive up interest in your shows. You do quite well on your own and publicity stunts are a bit tacky when people's lives are in danger.

**Superman:**  We actually thought you of all the heroes would have noble intentions, but saving the world because you need something to write about at your job seems pretty dumb. Your secondary reasoning that it would make you seem cooler sounds far too much like Flash to be comfortable.

**Batman:**  Working as a hero because it's the only socially acceptable way to use dangerous weaponry and force others into serving in your bat army is as disturbing as any villain. If not for your hatred of crime we honestly could easily see you working successfully as a criminal, try not to take that as a compliment.

**Captain Marvel:**  Wanting to be a superhero because it seemed fun and you get to hang out with other superheroes seems like weak reasoning, but you're still here so you must be having a good time.

**Martian Manhunter:**  Being a hero because you have nothing else to do just means you need a hobby, that's not to dissuade you from helping others, but try puzzles or something.

**Cyborg:**  If you want free wifi you could probably just go to a cafe, though we will concede the watchtower does a nice workshop and access to supplies you wouldn't normally be able to obtain for building speakers that plug into your circuitry.

**Aquaman:**  Wanting to be a hero just because you need an excuse to go on land and don't expect anyone to accept you otherwise seems vaguely sad. Though considering you're a bit bullied by some of our "darker" heroes it's not inconceivable that your self worth isn't too high. Try visiting Black Canary to talk about your feelings.

**Dr. Fate:**  Working for the greater good and providing justice because your helmet bugs you if you don't sounds more like your resigned to your fate because you don't want to be nagged by Nabu.

**Catwoman:**  For the most part you're a villain and wanting shiny things doesn't excuse that. Putting that aside, how do you even keep getting in here? Breaking into buildings is one thing, but clearly someone is helping you and from the smirks Batman keeps sending we can guess who it is.

**General Message:**  The fact that most of you have completely selfish reasons for helping others isn't surprising, but we have a suspicion that you aren't telling us the whole story and that their are glimmers of valor and tragic backstories hidden away. Ignoring the reasons, at least you're committed to saving others and as long as the public believe in the League and your status as protectors everything should be fine for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading please feel free to let me know what you thought.


	29. Public Service Announcements of Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Group therapy is useful?

**General Message:**  Due to another wave of infighting we have decided to begin holding mandatory group therapy. We would like everyone to admit to something they considered doing that would hurt the league and instead look for a better way to handle your issues.

**Martian Manhunter** : Instead of capturing and dissecting one of the league members to learn more about them, why don't you try talking to them. It will prevent anyone from dying plus it encourages team building. However knowing that you'd willingly dissect them has made some league members hesitant to spend time with you.

**Captain Marvel:**  Using your powers to break into toy stores to get toys for free is very illegal, so try asking Batman to buy you something. He is surprisingly willing to do what you want.

**Flash** : You've already raided the kitchen multiple times so that isn't anything new, but honestly if the worst thing you do is take food that belongs to the league then you probably aren't a major danger to anyone. However, it would probably be best just to wait until the cooks have prepared something rather than just eating random raw ingredients.

**Superman** : Sneaking into Gotham to play Batman is a terrible idea, even if you were able to convince Nightwing to pretend to be your Robin. Batman would most likely find out and then everyone would pay for it. Ask Batman if he'll make you a gadget to use instead, hopefully it'll help in the future and don't drag any members of the Bat family into your games.

**Batman:**  The litany of horrible things you've planned out is beyond disturbing. If we believed there was anyone qualified to counsel you or psychologically evaluate you we'd recommend them in a heartbeat. We don't know what to say about your possible plans to unleash a plague on Russia because a random man bumped into and his apology didn't seem sincere enough because of his accent.

**NightWing:**  We aren't sure why you're here, but you're involved in the league often enough for you to matter as well in helping better ourselves. Your plan with Batman to indoctrinate young heroes into the Batfamily and create some type of Bat League on the side seems dangerous with the way you describe it.

**Aquaman** : Trying to flood the entire watchtower would be difficult simply because there is only enough water on the watchtower for drinking and for housing your fish. You'd need to transport water to the Watchtower to flood it completely. Just enjoy your pools as they are.

**Black Canary:**  Doing a Canary Cry into the Watchtower's PA system, "just to see what happens" would likely blow out the eardrums of most of the league members, especially those with superhuman hearing. The Watchtower's windows are meant to be nearly indestructible, but we wouldn't like to put those to the test either, so just go sing a few songs and get it out of your system.

**Cyborg:**  You can't add cybernetic implants to league members without their consent, even if you call it, "a bit of updating" it's still wrong. Build some toys for Captain Marvel or help Batman with his projects, just don't make league members into personal projects.

**Wonder Woman:**  No matter what the reason you can't just tie people up for your amusement especially if it's to humiliate them by revealing their dark secrets or in one specific case to ravish them. Join a rodeo, hopefully you can impress the league members.

**Atom** : Don't use your powers to stalk people, the last time you used your powers for things that will not be mentioned you were stepped on, twice. That's not even counting the beating you got after from Wonder Woman.

**General Message:**  The saddest part about this session is that we only asked you to reveal one thing so we don't know how many other horrible ideas are swirling around in your twisted minds. How do people still look up to any of you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm posting this so late, my day was not great. 
> 
> Regardless thank you for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy the story. Please leave a comment to let me know what you think, it always brightens my day.


	30. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman takes charge of the league's health care

**General Message:**  Batman has forced all medical staff to take a "vacation", what that actually means we don't know, but he promises that they will come back eventually. He also has "requested" that everyone submits to a mandatory medical check performed by him. We will be releasing everyone's results publicly. While we admit that Batman is well read and knowledgeable about many subjects we hesitate to call him a medical professional.

**Batman:**  Is apparently entirely healthy and allowed to do whatever he wants, unfortunately he has reported everyone else is in some way or another sick, even heroes that until now were thought to be immune to disease. Everyone must follow his "professional" medical care suggestions or be quarantined.

**Wonder Woman:**  Has a new unknown health issue that requires further private testing in Batman's private quarters. She seemed less upset by this "deadly" problem that she could have been. Batman has yet to release any information other than a few more vigorous rounds of care should fix her. We have chosen not to delve any further.

**Superman:** A dangerous alien throat virus has cropped up and you must drink through a straw and not speak. Batman will serve as your voice, but we aren't sure if he's quite right on some of it/any of it. Normally you don't threaten people as easily as "you/Batman" have been doing recently. However you've continued to keep his mouth shut because Batman claimed if you were really his best friend you'd trust that he has your best interests at heart.

**Green Arrow:** You picked up a mild case of leprosy out on a mission. It's rather hard to prove if its true or not because Batman wrapped you head to toe in gauze and said to wait it out. Though leprosy does exist there are relatively few cases and it takes years for symptoms to show, Batman has assured us it is a new form of super leprosy and it'd be gone in maybe a week or something. Until then you're to remain a human mummy.

**Aquaman** : Batman didn't give much of a reason, his only command was that you stay submerged in a tank for a few days. We aren't sure what goopy purple liquid is in there, but you went along with it so we can't say much.

**Martian Manhunter** : Being green isn't a sign of illness, you've always been green it's part of your species. When Batman told you the entirety of green martians had actually just been part of a widespread epidemic we expected more resistance from you. Why you consented to being painted red with a black bat on your chest we don't know. Rest assured it'll wash out by the end of the week... we think.

**Flash:** Have fun with Nightwing on your forced vacation in Gotham, we think Nightwing might just have been bored and Batman wanted to accommodate him. Gotham's smog has no known healing abilities, but if you want to play along go for it.

**Captain Marvel:**  Batman didn't really reveal what was wrong with you, but some league member overheard you say he would write you a doctor's note and you could skip school which put him in a good mood. We aren't sure what that means or if it was a metaphor, but as long as you're happy we rather focus on the bigger problems.

**Green Lantern:**  Your ring isn't broken and that's not an actual sickness, don't let Batman play around with it we don't know what he'll do. Plus to protect your identity he has you walking around wearing Captain Marvel's old ghost Halloween costume. Unless you want to play ghost for the foreseeable future deal with that, we aren't getting involved.

**Zatanna:**  We're 90% sure you're in on the joke because admitting yourself to the med bay because you keep sneezing out things like confetti is laughable quite literally depending on the hero. Either admit the joke or stop and pretend to be cured, recently your coughed and an elephant appeared so this is getting out of hand.

**Catwoman:**  You didn't suddenly develop a cat allergy and require Batman's help to make a cure, he's not a vet, go away and stop bringing your cats, they're shedding. But if you do bring them, keep dressing them up in costumes, Batman seems to enjoy it. Wonder Woman is less pleased because one started marking it's territory in her room. Don't dogs usually do that? We had a problem with Krypto for the same reason.

**Red Tornado:**  You didn't go bald, you never hair to start with and the waist length black wig Batman gave you doesn't suit you. Even if some of the heroes have enjoyed braiding it. We'll admit Superman can do an impressive French twist.

**Jason Blood:**  Being fused with Etrigan the demon isn't an illness and it isn't Batman's place to cure it, but it's nice to see you, you haven't been around. Batman is commissioning you to beef up the magical defenses of the Watchtower. By that he didn't mean setting up spells that force people to trip when walking through doorways blaming it on your Etrigan illness doesn't work when you keep doing it.

**General Message:**  There is no need for a league wide quarantine where depending on your illness you get stuck with others who are similarly sick, just go about your days as normal, the medical staff will be back within a week. They appreciated their time off and we've learned to appreciate them even more. Batman claims that he's the only one who really cared about them, but we doubt his intentions were so magnanimous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and I'm sorry this is being posted so late at night, my work has kept me very busy and I've been super tired. 
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading please let me know what you think and leave a comment.


	31. Public Service Announcements Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Island vacation...kinda

**General Message:**  Batman got annoyed by someone who tweeted that "he was a weirdo who was clearly into BDSM" so he bought the island they lived on and demolished their home. In other news the league is going on an island vacation. We also want to stress that stealing homes or islands isn't a good outlet for anger.

 **Flash:**  This wasn't meant as a means for you to do a photo-shoot for your new line of bathing suit line SPEEDos, which while somewhat clever seems too close to the brand Speedo. However WonderWoman has suggested you use Batman as your model. It'd probably sell pretty well.

 **Batman:** Planning to start an island nation where you rule supreme seems a bit dangerous especially since your plan includes conquering all neighboring islands and adding them to your new Bat Nation. We've all seen how you treat the league as your own little kingdom where you're in control, but we don't need you trying to do it on an international playing field where there could be serious consequences.

 **Wonder Woman:**  We doubt you need to worry about citizenship status in Batman's Nation because of your status in Themyscira. Hopefully you won't need to worry about any citizenship regarding the Nation because with any luck it won't exist.

 **Superman** : Do not encourage Batman by volunteering to serve as first mate on the pirate ship he is currently building to "liberate and conquer the seas." We thought you had a sense of morality don't throw it away because you want to play pirate with Batman. With the multiple PR problems we've come across the league can't really afford to plunder the seas for fun without further alienating the people the league is meant to protect.

 **Bat Family:** Apparently you've called ahead and told Batman to build a few ships for you including, but not limited to: Robin' you blind, Bat Boat, Death by Batarang, The Jason, Big Dick, Femme Fatale, Cat Nip, and Literally Pirates.

 **Green Lantern:**  Just because you want to run a green ship doesn't mean you have to try adding a ship to Batman's budding fleet for the express purpose of painting it green.

 **Captain Marvel:**  Although Batman promised to teach you to swim once he finished making his plans it might be a better idea to ask someone else simply because nobody actually knows how long he'll take. Green Arrow offered because Black Canary declined to come and he has nothing to do.

 **Cyborg:**  We're sorry you're not having a good time. Between getting sand in your mechanical parts and shorting out when pushed into the water "accidentally" by Flash, you don't seem to be enjoying yourself. Batman said you can have a position on one of the boats as a living telescope, but not the flagship he wants his custom made. 

 **Aquaman** : For once we think you actually have the influence to stop Batman, the ocean is your turf isn't it?

 **General Message:**  Buying an island just makes you a landowner inside a country and its very likely that the countries that actually own the islands will retaliate when Batman tries to declare his Archipelago a new nation.

 **Martian Manhunter** : You were apparently tasked with writing the first draft of the Bat Nation's declaration of Independence, but what exactly is it supposed to say?

 **General Message:**  Batman thankfully chose to legally buy all the nearby islands for sale, instead of trying to lay waste to what/whoever stood in his way, and is planning to open a group of resorts because he doesn't have time to set up and rule a new nation, but would enjoy another source of income. Unfortunately he promises to revisit the idea when he has some free time and wants a new hobby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please feel free to let me know what you think, it always makes me happy. 
> 
> Sorry for the late night posting, but it has been a wild week.


	32. Public Service Announcements of Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why is the league doing a sports festival?

**General Message:**  Captain Marvel claimed that a sports festival he was supposed to attend was cancelled. Although we have no idea what he was talking about somehow the idea of the League having a sports day has been put forward and received surprising traction. It is now being put on the official calendar please try to attend.

**Archery** : Red Arrow, who generally avoids league events showed up for the express purpose of beating Green Arrow in the archery competition. It eventually devolved into a brawl when Red Arrow tried to shoot Green Arrow in a fit of annoyance at the fact that they were essentially at a stalemate. They were promptly kicked out.

**Beanbag Toss:**  It was in everyone's opinion an odd event for Captain Marvel to suggest, but it was set up regardless. Batman "accidentally" threw his beanbag into Aquaman's head. Although Aquaman insisted he was fine Batman decided he needed to be sent away for medical treatment and was promptly kicked out.

**Discus Throw:**  To show off Wonder Woman threw the disc as hard as she could it launched out of the rented stadium and smashed into a building. Wonder Woman was kicked out so she could apologize and Batman would later have to front the bill.

**Limbo** : Atom shrank to easily beat everyone. In rebuttal a few members tried to hit Atom with limbo sticks, unfortunately they started accidentally hitting other heroes leading to an entirely new event.

**Limbo Battle:**  The event was violent and eventually resulted in a full fledged battle royal between everyone who could grab a Limbo stick. Eventually powers became involved and things went further south. After a great deal of damage the fighting was finally stopped when a fire broke burning some of the supplies ruining more than one event.

**Medical Checks:**  Not an actual event, just a result of the violence committed between heroes. Those who weren't removed due to injuries were forced to join another new event.

**Repairs and Pickup:**  It was prefaced as an event to see if the damage could be hidden or repaired before Batman killed anyone for causing the damage in the first place. All able bodied league members involved in damaging the stadium were forced to participate in the mandatory cleanup, it didn't take long because they were superheroes, but there were plenty of complaints. In the end nobody was punished because Batman was distracted.

**Swimming:**  Since Aquaman was taken out of commission and nobody else really wanted to swim Batman used the pool to teach Captain Marvel to swim, making good on his promise during the island vacation. This allowed the two to avoid the limbo fighting and eventual cleanup, which meant that Batman didn't have to instigate the violence for once. Aquaman actually stayed out of the pool, citing chlorine as damaging and gross. We've noticed someone else put in a request for multiple tubs of chlorine to be sent to the Watchtower for "reasons"

**Track and Field:**  When prepping for the various races set up between the fastest superheroes Flash mysteriously dropped out and Batman took his place. When "Batman" used the speed force to win the 50 mile sprint everyone quickly realized Flash just changed into a suit Batman prepared for him. Essentially they decided to trade Flash would get his own Batsuit and Batman would be able to say he beat everyone in a race. Both were happy and nobody bothered trying to dispute the result.

**Weight Lifting:**  From start to finish it was an absolute mess with various heroes racing off to get whatever they could to lift. Superman's plan was to fly off and try bench pressing some planets. Apparently there was a rule that leaving the arena meant disqualification so almost everyone was disqualified when they went out to find something heavier than the weights provided, which were quite light by superhero standards. Batman lifted a discarded arrow because unlike his competitors he couldn't fly off to find something ridiculously heavy, which means he won. 

**End Result:**  Captain Marvel and Batman were happy, the injured weren't, and pretty much everyone else was ambivalent. There is no word about plans to host other League sporting events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't upload yesterday my week has been hectic, but I made sure to get a chapter up today. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you thought.
> 
> To be honest I don't really know what happens at sports festivals I don't remember my school doing anything interesting or even having a "sports day"


	33. Public Service Announcements of Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An event for kids to "play sidekick"

**General Message:**  We're doing a charity event where each hero is paired with a, "buddy" why get's to be their "sidekick" for the day. This is partially for charity for underprivileged children and also to boost the league reputation, we've been getting bad press lately. All you need to do is play with the kids for a little bit, nothing special, you're not actually going anywhere. Which means there shouldn't be any problems at all. 

**Captain Marvel:**  He didn't show up, we thought he'd enjoy this event, but he didn't register instead claiming he'd be too busy. With what we have no idea, but Batman says he approved it.

**Batman:**  Playing sidekick just means having the children hang out with the heroes, you aren't supposed to actually pretend he's Robin. His name is Billy Batson, just because you forced him into a newly made Robin suit, that was an oddly perfect fit, doesn't mean he can handle dangerous weapons.

**Nightwing** : The fact that you nearly melted into a puddle of goo when he asked if you were his big brother now means you're clearly hooked. Using the fact that his last name is Batson as "proof" that he belongs with you guys isn't real, you're just egging Batman on and he doesn't need anyone agreeing with his insanity.

**Robin:** Clearly you had hidden cameras or recording devices hidden somewhere because apparently hearing the words "bat" and "son" too close together were reason enough for you to show up out of the blue practically screaming that you were the only true blooded son of Batman.

**Aquaman:**  To keep you from drowning anyone we're giving you a toddler in floaties and putting you in a pool with some safe fish. Just try to entertain him, we're pretty sure he isn't afraid of fish or at least that's what Batman said.

**Plastic Man:**  We're sorry your sidekick and a few others want to use you as a trampoline, you can say no, but at this point distracting them from more of the unsavory members and the psuedo custody battle probably is for the best.

**Green Arrow:**  You need to use training arrows without sharp points if you want to play with kids, one of them almost stabbed another on accident.

**Green Lantern:**  Do not give fake rings to children and convince them they can fly, they're trying to use plastic man as a launch pad to reach the stars. We're just lucky that they've all been caught before they hit the ground.

**Flash:**  Just because you can't run around carrying children (to prevent them from getting hurt) doesn't mean you have to try using a new skill to show off, you don't know any magic so don't pretend to be a magician. Talk to one of our actual magic users, perhaps you can be part of Zatanna's show.

**Wonder Woman:**  We're giving you a young girl, because we're honestly afraid of what you might say to a boy considering you're past interactions with children. We're also confiscating the ropes you brought with you, we can't be sure what you were planning, but unless you plan to go to a rodeo, they probably aren't important. The final note is that you can't encourage children to participate in violence even if it, "takes all the fun out of it."

**Superman:**  After nearly dropping your "sidekick" we're going to request that you stay on the ground for the rest of the event. Also a majority of your powers aren't fit to show off so stop trying to use your heat vision to hit targets. You already blew up one car, we really don't need any further damage.

**Zatanna:**  Putting on a magic show if a perfect idea, however using the children as assistants in dangerous tricks, is not okay. We're sending you the Flash as your assistant. Don't hurt him, we don't want to scare the children.

**Dr. Fate:**  It's nice to see you, we rarely see you attending these events and we're starting to see why. You're quite awkward around children, you spent the entire time policing it correcting the children's bad habits and telling them when they're being bad. In a not shocking twist you weren't particularly popular, one child compared you to his angry grandfather. Zatanna was disappointed you didn't participate in her magic show.

**General Message:**  Thanks to careful planning the costs of repaying damages was less that usual league events and a good portion of the money was sent to the Wayne Foundation's Charity for Children. However now every hero has the mission of tracking down Batman and Billy who he refused to return, because he wants to make another Robin. His "Newest Robin" was all too happy to agree and we're considering filing a missing person report.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been super busy and I'm running into an issue with my backlog of chapters. Although I do write entirely new chapters and do major changes/additions/edits before I post my older ones in general I rely on what I've written in the past to fuel this. I'm reaching the end of what I had originally posted (minus holiday themed chapters which I can't really post because it isn't Christmas ect.) 
> 
> These aren't super long chapters so it isn't an issue for me once I have an idea of what I want to do, I'm simply because I'm busy and despite this being my most popular story my interests jump around so I don't devote myself to writing this much. Next week there will definitely be the continuation to this chapter and I'll figure out how I want to proceed from there. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and being patient with me. Please let me know what you think in the comments it inspires me to write more if I feel like people are enjoying it, (not a guilt trip)


	34. Public Service Announcements of Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidekick appreciation day (with a hidden purpose)

**General Message:**  We're holding an event for sidekick appreciation, encouraging heroes to bring their sidekicks up to the Watchtower. The real reason for this event is that Batman's newest Robin still hasn't been returned home. We can't allow kidnappings from events we host whether or not they were consensual.

 **Batman** : We're glad you brought along Billy or "Robin" as you keep correcting, but we're actually surprised at how quickly he adjusted to being around the heroes and how he's almost familiar with the layout of the Watchtower. Just giving out information about the Watchtower to a kid you stole isn't really safe, with your devotion to secrecy we certainly weren't expecting this. Just please return the boy, you have plenty of sidekicks/former sidekicks some of whom decided to show up. 

 **New Robin** : Go home! No matter how much fun you're having, the police are going to get involved with finding you if we leave you with Batman any longer.

 **Current Robin:** We certainly don't know when it happened, but over the course of the few days that Batman acquired his newest addition to the family you seemed to have bonded now declaring him your brother in arms and denying the idea of allowing him to return home. 

 **Red Hood** : It's bad enough that Billy is being dragged into this by Batman, but we can't have you showing him guns. That is the final straw and Batman threatened to smash your head into a wall if anyone so much as touches the weapons, so hopefully that works as a deterrent. 

 **Nightwing:** We know the only reason the Batfamily knows about this event is because you told them and invited them to come along. Sometimes you're worse than him when it comes to causing trouble and no that is not a compliment, seriously you were so sweet as a child what happened. 

 **Batwing** : It's rare to see you around, but considering how you seemed to disapprove of most things going on we can guess why. At the very least was nice to see that someone recognizes that things around here are off, unfortunately you blatantly ignored the worst things caused by your Batfamily and instead called out the rest of the league for being unprofessional. Seriously, Red Hood is waving a gun around and all you notice is Flash being foolish. 

 **Oracle:** We're not sure when you added jets and armor to your wheelchair, but you essentially played bumper cart by smashing into heroes and telling them they can't do anything in return because they'd be attacking someone who is disabled. By the end Nightwing was riding along helping you in your quest to apparently cause damage. 

 **Azrael** : Apparently you've been complaining that you never get to attend anything league related so Nightwing made sure you got an invitation this time. You actually seemed quite shy until plastic man smashed into you thanks to Oracle in return you tied Plastic man in a knot and left him in a closet. 

* * *

 

 **Superman** : We're seriously going to have to make a rule about animals, we aren't exactly sure we can count Kyrpto as a sidekick mainly because he's a dog, but because you brought him you set a precedent that anyone can bring animals around the watchtower with the excuse that they're sidekicks. Plus he's been marking his territory and some heroes are less that pleased by that. Robin doesn't seem to mind his presence, but they seem to get along better than Krypto get's along with Aquaman. He smells fishy, pardon the pun.

 **Krypto** : The Watchtower isn't your personal bathroom, even if you are pretty cute.

 **Superboy** : You don't really operate as a sidekick to Superman, but apparently Red Robin counted it close enough to drag you along so he'd have someone to hang out with and help him break into restricted areas. 

 **Aquaman** : Thankfully you brought Aqualad instead of a bunch of fish, ignoring the large amount we already have swimming around thanks to your demands for tanks and pools.

 **Aqualad** : Please ignore Batman, we know he's trying to convert you away from Aquaman. You're allegiance to your king is respectable and luckily you seem stable enough not to cause any trouble around here, which is more than we can say about actual members of the league. Just hang out with the rest of the sidekicks and try to wait out this event. 

 **Wonder Woman** : You can't just bring a bunch of Amazons here to hang out, regardless of the fact that Flash likes the view and Batman enjoys the attention. We specified sidekicks and we expect referring to one of them as a sidekick would come across as offensive.

 **Amazons** : Just try not to damage anything and honestly despite our objections, at this point we've learned when to pick out battles. Also try not to give Batman too much attention just because Wonder Woman likes him, it'll go to his head.

 **Flash** : Stop hitting on the Amazons, we're pretty sure they're one pick-up line away from hitting back.

 **Green Arrow** : Obviously Red Arrow wasn't going to come, that ship has sailed, seriously.

 **Green Lantern** : You can't just make constructs and pretend they're real people, you ended up convincing Martian Manhunter to do the same with disturbing looking puppets.

 **Martian Manhunter** : Just because you have a bunch of anatomically correct human shaped puppets levitating them around doesn't make them any more real than Green Lantern's Constructs. It just makes them a lot creepier, whenever you didn't pay enough attention they'd end up crashing into people like they were possessed.

 **Catwoman** : Aside from the fact that you shouldn't be here (Batman needs to stop letting you in), you can't bring cats to the Watchtower when we have a super powered dog on board. He ended up trashing a large portion of the Watchtower chasing them around. Batman is forcing Superman to clean everything and banned Krypto. Hopefully people listen to him, despite ignoring our warnings about pets.

 **General Message:**  Batman finally freed his newest Robin much to their mutual displeasure. However we're pretty sure he left him with some parting gifts, though we couldn't actively check. We're just going to assume they're dangerous, but we can't do much. Other than that the "event" wasn't as bad as it could be, but wasn't particularly good. We're mainly reminded that most of you don't have any real current sidekicks and Batman was able to basically steal one off the streets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight spoiler, but I intend to include at least one more chapter about Captain Marvel as Robin, which will be newly written after that I'll figure out what I need to do from there. 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought and thanks for reading.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The league wants Batman's attention because he's been ignoring them. It doesn't go too well.

**General Message:**  Batman has been spending most of his time in Gotham, with his Batfamily, or recently stealing children (it was only 1 child as he was quick to point out). Other league members are starting to get antsy especially those who think they're close to him, emphasis on "think". 

**Superman:**  You've literally descended to the point where you took a little cardboard box and wrote "adopt me" on it before placing it near the transporter and crouching in it, waiting for Batman. It was pointed out you look nothing like an orphan so your master plan was to dress like you imagined Oliver Twist dressed. Batman took one look at you and informed you that your little set-up only worked for kittens and puppies. Last we saw you were heading to metropolis to buy cat ears. 

**Wonder Woman:**  Following Batman around and randomly draping yourself over furniture in whatever room he was in wasn't a great plan. At first he didn't seem to mind, but when you threw yourself over the computers Batman was working on and set off the Watchtower alarms, he finally took notice and not in a good way. You were later found tied to a chair apparently to force you to leave him alone, but you seemed remarkably unfazed only saying, "He knows his way around a rope."

**Martian Manhunter:**  We might have imagined Flash or even Superman doing this, but coming from you this idea was just ludicrous. Trying to dress up as Robin was insane especially since you went with your own, very cheap, version of an early Robin uniform. You showed up in front of Batman wearing a green speedo, a robin tee-shirt, and a yellow blanket. What you were thinking was unfathomable, but Batman voiced what many of us were likely thinking that it was, "a disgrace" and that you were never to show yourself in front of him dressed that way again or he'd be forced to burn the costume while you were still wearing it. 

**Flash:**  Your idea sort of worked pulling out a communicator and loudly speaking to Nightwing in a bid to catch Batman's attention worked until he snatched the communicator, gave you a slight nod and walked off having a conversation with his son. 

**Aquaman:**  Batman seems to actively dislike fish, so the reason why you would offer one to him as a pet eludes us. Although we're pretty sure he was kidding when he said he'd eat it and remember your gift, you became violently ill at the thought and rushed off. We don't know exactly what happened, but we did hear screaming and yelling so our guess is that you managed to cause some issue. 

**Green Arrow:**  We can't say for sure, but we believe there is some correlation between you offering to paint Batman's uniform green and a giant vat of black ink falling on you later in the day. Especially since Batman was quite nearby and commented that he liked the change. Luckily you seemed to look on the bright-side and seemed pretty happy with the complement on your new black costume. Other heroes are attempting to follow suit, if Superman wasn't off playing dress up he'd probably be pouring black dye on himself. 

**Black Canary:**  Your suit is already black you just managed to get it wet with some paint you stole from Cyborg. 

**Captain Marvel:**  You seem remarkably content, despite the fact that we haven't seen you around much. What have you been doing?

**Plastic Man:**  Blasting out of a jack-in-the box you made to surprise Batman might not have been the best idea. Popping out of nowhere in front of a paranoid man with extremely fast reflexes just led to him punching you directly back into the box. We're not sure what reaction you were expecting, but you clearly thought it'd be more positive. 

**Batman** : Honestly you act awful the majority of the time so we don't have anything specific to say for you aside from the fact that we're happy you don't have any "new sidekicks" and shockingly making an appearance once in a while is good for moral as long as you don't stir up issues. 

**General Message** : It was like nobody had been here in months, you all felt a bit out of character.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven't posted in a long time and I apologize, but you can blame my work and general life. I mentioned another chapter with Billy as Robin, but that's coming later. I do have a chapters for at least the next two weeks so you don't have to worry about me disappearing right away. 
> 
> I'm going to try to start posting for a few of my other stories so hopefully that won't take long.


	36. Public Service Announcements of Justice Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The league decides to have a weird indoor labor day barbecue for no particular reason, too much drinking and all around misbehavior doesn't help.

**General Message:**  You don't get vacation days, least of all for labor day. Plenty of you aren't American anyway, some aren't from Earth at all. Despite this a barbecue is being held and someone had the bright idea of holding it in the Watchtower. At least it hides some of our shame, considering what a mess you're making.

 **Batman:**  To make sure everyone in your family could drop by, you spent the last week hunting through Gotham terrifying every villain into calling a truce for the barbecue, with the threat that you'd use them to cook steaks and feed them to more unsavory members of the league. We still aren't sure exactly who you were planning to have eat your enemies, but we're glad they listened.

 **Wonder Woman:**  For once you didn't have to dress up in some revealing costume to match the holiday or event because your costume fits an American holiday quite well and is very revealing on its own.

 **Superman:**  Just because Batman made an offhand comment on how slow you were in cooking hamburgers does not mean you needed to absolutely burn the meat with your heat vision. The league was left with dozens of slices of charred meat between buns, which nobody was comfortable eating. However they felt obligated when Batman picked one up and started eating it, the crunching was almost deafening in the quiet room where everyone waited for a reaction. With a completely straight face he said , "It could have used ketchup. Eat up everyone." The rest of the league gagged their way through their own personal lumps of coal.

 **Green Lantern:**  Thankfully there was plenty of food left over to cook and you actually know how to work a grill so normal food was being made, unfortunately the production of smoke in an enclosed space wasn't a great idea. The room the party was being held in slowly filled with smoke Batman is the only hero paranoid enough to carry a gas mask so he was okay, but many of the other heroes were coughing and stumbling around forced to choke and be blinded until there is some way to clear the air.

 **Flash:**  Opening the airlock to clear out the smoke was an inspired idea, what it was inspired by we don't want to know. All we do know is that people were nearly dragged into space and killed. Thankfully someone managed to close it before much serious damage could be done. This isn't a house where you can just open windows, think before you act.

 **Martian Manhunter:**  We're sorry you don't have a Martian equivalent to the holiday that we shouldn't really be celebrating, but you don't need to spend your time doing research on the traditions that come with the holiday or read clickbait articles about, "throw the perfect BBQ."

 **Constantine:** You showed up with just about your body weight in alcohol, which normally would be frowned upon. Considering how uncomfortable some of the heroes seem, alcohol might be a good option for them.

 **Captain Marvel:**  Batman has officially banned you from touching any alcohol though he made sure to get you a hot dog that hasn't met the wrath of Superman. What usually happens when you drink that's so bad, Batman feels it necessary to set a ban?

 **Cyborg:**  We're not sure what playlist you have set up for your speakers, but the only things playing are from Disney television movies and they aren't going over too well with the crowd.

 **Aquaman** : Fish can't get drunk so dumping a bottle of rum into one of your tanks does nothing except hurt the sea life. Also you seem much more prone to emotional outbursts when inebriated, you started crying when someone suggested making fish tacos. Though you might have cried normally so we can't be sure that was thanks to the alcohol, luckily for you the scene you made was so dramatic fish tacos were taken off the menu.

 **Bat family:**  You showed up just long enough to smuggle Batman out to go to a, "real family barbecue", with Captain Marvel tagging along. The drunk heroes didn't notice until they realized nobody was glaring or yelling at them. A fiasco started once Green Arrow declared himself the new Batman and decided at he was in charge, his reign didn't last long.

 **Green Arrow:**  Your trip to the hospital wing was to be expected when you tried to order Superman around calling yourself, "Green Batman." Superman was so offended on Batman's behalf that he punched you across the room directly to Wonder Woman who sent you flying right back for tarnishing her lovers good name. How anyone could say he has a good name is beyond us, but we doubt you'll remember any of this with the head trauma you've likely sustained.

 **General Message:**  All events should be held outdoors, on an actual planet with some form of supervision or protection, who you'll actually allow to supervise you we can't imagine. Like most things you take part of the barbecue was a resounding failure, the only positive is that you didn't incur any major damages, aside from, "Green Batman." and frankly anyone drunk enough to try that deserves a punch or two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised a chapter this week and I delivered, though it was an odd one. Holiday chapters can be fun, why I chose one for this holiday was purely due to the fact that I actually had free time.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team is supposed to make a new team logo, something to show the world... every idea will be perfect.

**General Message:**  One somewhat positive thing we can note is that things are back to their normal level of ridiculousness and trouble, On a negative note we have a new crisis on our hands: the league members are demanding a new logo for the league. In any other organization this wouldn't be a problem, but clearly the Justice League can't have anything go well.

**Wonder Woman:**  A statue of Batman wearing only his cowl cannot be commissioned and even if we did you wouldn't be the person to measure him to make sure things are anatomically exact. Besides do you really want everyone in the world to see his naked body, beyond that it might compromise his identity.  **(Idea Withdrawn)**

**Batman:**  Big shock, you want a bat to be the official mascot and have the bat symbol represent the league. Your symbol represents you and despite your beliefs you aren't the entirety of the league, other members do exist.  **(Idea Rejected)** Also Robin can't be the official mascot of the league, we aren't sure what that entails or who exactly you're referring to. The only reason you decided not to demand the name be switched to the League of Bats was that they "weren't worthy."

**Green Arrow:**  We aren't going to "re-brand" ourselves into the "Arrow Squad." Forcing the entire to use bows in battle isn't remotely possible so no we aren't renaming the league or using you aiming a bow as the new image we're presenting.  **(Idea Very Rejected)**

**Flash:** We asked league members to offer ideas for a logo not a catch phrase and it will certainly not be, "We're going to flash you." Try thinking about why that's so wrong.  **(No Chance)**

**General Message:**  You can't all suggest something relating to you, remember this is meant to serve as something for the entire league. Try to create something that you believe everyone would support and feel comfortable with.

**Martian Manhunter:**  Slapping a bunch of pictures you took,without permission, into a disturbing collage of people in various states that generally shouldn't be displayed is not going to work. It doesn't matter if it features the league, this isn't what we meant when we said to make something that represents the entire league.  **(Uncomfortably rejected and camera confiscated)**

**Superman:**  Do you actually believe the league members would join together for a group hug as a pose for the logo? Changing it to just having best friends hug doesn't really help, especially since multiple people think Batman might want to hug them and we don't need a fight breaking out over that. He doesn't come across as the hugging type and he has a family to go to if he feels the need.  **(Rejected outside of hugging range)**

**Captain Marvel:**  Did you just give us a hand drawn picture of the league holding hands smiling? The league rarely smiles when they're put together for long periods of time unless someone is in pain. Batman made sure to assure you it was a very great picture and it would certainly be put on the Watchtower's refrigerator, but will not be used as a logo.  **(Kindly Rejected)**

**Plastic Man:**  Copying Captain Marvel because his picture received good reviews from Batman made sense in theory, but it was obvious to everyone else that it wasn't going to work. You created a demented version where everyone was deformed into "plastic" versions of themselves, Batman called it disgusting and told you to throw it away somewhere else He disliked it so much he didn't even it want it with the rest of the Watchtower's trash.  **(Unkindly Rejected)**

**Constantine:**  Children look up to us so anything that features someone smoking is immediately out, so a group of chain smokers slinging spells couldn't be used even if it made sense, this isn't Harry Potter after hours or something. Batman in particular was annoyed and threatened to make you eat lit cigarettes the next time you smoked on the Watchtower, oddly you seemed remarkably unfazed. **(Rejected for the children)**

**Zatanna:**  You just wanted to add magicians hats to everyone in Constantine's logo, but for similar reasons your idea is also rejected. Most of the league can't use magic in the traditional sense and even more wouldn't wear a stage magician's getup.  **(Rejected even with hats)**

**General Message:**  We're just going to take a group photo, without hugging, hopefully you can hold yourselves together long enough to pull that off. It took a few tries due to issues with certain heroes being too touchy in various ways, everyone wanting a different spot, quite a bit of bumping, and of course everyone just being generally disagreeable.  **(Accepted with some heavy photoshop)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What logos do think characters would come up with?
> 
> Thanks for reading please let me know what you think.


	38. Public Service Announcements of Justice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A revelation occurs at a press conference and there may be a new little member for the batfamily...

**General Message** : We are sorry to inform you that the Justice League has to gather for a press conference which will be broadcast worldwide. The subject is mainly about how the league intends on keeping the world safe and any future plans, it's all very standard. Everyone must be on their absolute best behavior so we don't cause any problems, there are already a decent amount of people who resent us and we're just starting to win people over again. This time we're preventing any of you from being to physically close to anyone because that never goes well, so only the bravest of reporters are taking part. 

**Batman** : Please don't threaten anyone be it reporters or entire countries who are watching, we don't want another Belgium incident. If you really want to give some stern warnings to villains that's fine, but don't force the faint of heart to flee just because you feel the need to terrify people. Even some league members tried to back away when you started punctuating your points by waving a very sharp batarang to prevent anyone from thinking of interrupting you. We doubt they would speak over you even without waving a weapon in their face. 

**Flash** : Just because a group of people are gathered in front of you does not mean they're all attending a comedy performance put on by you. They didn't come to listen to your jokes especially if you try to turn it into a roast and make fun of people, you've started brawls in the past and we don't need that now.

**Green Arrow** : No jokes, no trick arrows, and no shooting fake explosives into large crowds isn't an icebreaker, it's insane. There are plenty of people of people who might react poorly, like anyone with half a functioning brain and a bit of sense.

**Black Canary:**  Don't get annoyed at Green Arrow, when you yell sometimes you go overboard and we don't need you canary screaming into a microphone... again. The league, essentially Batman, doesn't want to be saddled with more medical bills for ear surgeries.

**Nightwing:**  Most of the league is perfectly happy when you attend these events, Batman and a few others in particular get excited. Although you might not be in the league we have to request you be on your best behavior and not play any pranks. We know Batman forwards you copies of all our PSAs so don't pretend you didn't see this.

**Constantine:** If you're going to show up drunk and try to use magic to hide the fact that you're attempting to grope Batman just don't show up. Thankfully you were quickly shuffled to the back of the group so nobody could really notice your poor behavior. 

**Wonder Woman** : Please, keep your opinions to yourself if they're going to offend almost everyone who hears them. We don't need any repeat performances of your disturbing and threatening comments, you manage to come across as someone with a deep disdain for humanity. Part of it is you trying to insult anyone you perceive as interested in Batman and the rest is just a general lack of understanding how to deal with normal people or any social norms. 

**Martian Manhunter:**  You can't just disappear when you get bored, we've had this discussion with Batman in the past for different reasons, but even he can't turn invisible like you do. It makes people nervous, when an invisible alien is hanging out around them breathing down their necks literally and metaphorically.

**Hawkwoman** : It is very rare that anyone actually is trying to start a fight with you because they aren't fools, so don't assume everyone is there to attack you. Every random person wearing sunglasses is not your newest opponent and cameras are not weapons, they're just annoying. paranoia isn't a great quality for a superhero, though apparently Batman hasn't received that memo.

**Captain Marvel** : Just try to stay still and not fidget, to be fair you're better than most of the heroes, but you end up looking restless and worried when you can't stand straight. Batman promised to buy you some ice cream if you behave and join in on any plans he might eventually make.

**Superman** : You generally seem surprisingly good at playing the part of a proper hero so please keep up the decent work, don't let anyone corrupt you.

**General Message:**  Things had gone somewhat smoothly, but at the last moment Wonder Woman caused a major scene by announcing her pregnancy on live television in front of a crowd just before everyone returned to the Watchtower. We need to do damage control of some sort and figure out if she's telling the truth. We aren't sure how to punish her, so can someone come up with something besides Batman?

* * *


End file.
